| |

You can scroll the shelf using and keys

DBDK ::Destiny Busters & Dream Killers::

12 Jun 2019

     Hello you guys, and welcome to my channel, I’m forever and always Laraddiji, it’s the Living in Peace section of my channel which is the main section of this channel. Let’s see, have you ever had a dream to be somebody, or to do something for someone, or to study a particular course, or to go a particular way, or to buy a particular item, or to even be yourself and then you ditch that dream because of one reason or the other? Well, today, as stated in the title, we’ll be talking about those reasons we give power, to change our minds from something we might have been destined to accomplish. Myself for instance, I used to do these graph paper designs, I didn’t know what to do with them, I still don’t know what to do with them. So, what did I tell myself? I’m not going to waste my time on them anymore, it’s not doing anything for me.

I was inspired to talk about this topic when my husband and I were talking about how important it is to study and really know our kids. From watching our kids grow up, its important to listen to what their teachers say about them, because there are clues to what can shape their lives in the future from what they say from their tender age.  What are dream busters and destiny killers? This happens when we haven’t truly listened to our constituents and we force agendas on them, the dream they haven’t dared to dream and destinies they haven’t dared to birth therefore goes to ash before their realized.

Economy & Community

      This is the fifth reason I’ll give that kills and busts dreams. Why? Where you are can be a very big problem to your dream. Your community and the economy of your community at a small scale, and the economy of your country on a larger scale can be a dream buster and dream killer. I say this because, if you aren’t in a place where some opportunities are available to you, unfortunately your dream and aspirations might not be achievable. This is part of the reasons many people leave a country that isn’t benefiting them to others that are. There are a lot of countries that fall into this category and to fix this issue might be easier said than done, and will definitely take a lot of time to achieve. In the meantime, What can we do? How can we fight back? You can …

— Migrate — Toughen it out — and Don’t give up

Lack of immediate success

     Some people think, once they’ve given their dreams a shot, and it isn’t working out, then that’s it. Some think that after their first try, or after putting themselves out there being vulnerable and all and things don’t work for them, that its time to throw in the towel, that’s actually far from the case. In the words of some famous people, if at first you don’t succeed, pick yourself up and try again and also “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Thomas Edison said that. A lot of us give up too soon, that’s why I tell myself when I’m getting tired of something, or when my mind is saying, just give up now, that’s when I actually have to put in my best and that reminds me that I’m almost close to my breakthrough. Anytime I’m not getting results immediately, I keep seeing myself as that miner digging for gold, not thinking but knowing that the next strike of my axe might be my breakthrough, so… — Be more patient — Be consistent — and Don’t give up.

Leaders & Teachers

     You would think people in positions of power will use it for the people with great responsibility but it turns out that the number of bad eggs we have in politics, in education, in public protection agencies and even in religion, are at an all time high and those that do good are now the minority. These people can be dream busters and killers in the sense that the majority of the public under these authorities trust the information coming from those people and therefore feel they don’t need to educate themselves otherwise or verify the information coming from those set of people and because of that they put themselves in a lot of trouble. Beware of people that promise success without hard-work because it’s a scam, isn’t it? Who wakes up one day and find lots of money in their bank without working for it, even scammers and thieves work relentlessly to make their money so why won’t you? If you see genuine successful people today, its because they’ve put in the work when we didn’t know them. My friend, don’t let authority fool you, don’t waste your precious time…  — educate yourself — verify information — make wise decisions accordingly and Don’t give up.

Family & Friends

     In a real world, the feedback you get from your family, meaning your parents and immediate family members are supposed to be the closest to you ever, the closest to your heart because these people are supposed to know you inside and out, they’re supposed to support you no matter what. The information you get as advice from them are supposed to be undisputable because let’s face it, no family member should ever want your downfall but trust me, in real life, not everyone in your family circle will understand you and truly know your ambitions and your dreams and your goals except you, even your parents. There are basic things your parents will make sure you achieve, your basic education for instance and from them on, you should be able to make it on your own. Now, your family and friends can be dream killers and busters if they don’t know you, know what makes you tick, if they don’t know what you yourself want to do with your life. and then try to force their own agendas on you. — Have a goal, a purpose and focus — Believe and pray on your own — Ignore in love and don’t give up.

You & your thoughts & your body

      I don’t think anyone knowingly wakes up one day to say, alright, I’m going to be a failure today or maybe say to themselves, I’m going to just mess up my life so bad today by making some real dumb choices. But do you know how you can kill your dreams? By not trusting yourself, by not being confident of yourself enough, by thinking for other people, by making bad choices you think are little or will not have an impact in your life, by belittling your efforts, by not taking risks, by limiting yourself, by scolding yourself and beating yourself up, by allowing your thoughts to overpower your actions, by letting others actions and others opinions drive you, by thinking negative thoughts, by not using your talents and ultimately by not trusting God’s work in your life. So what can we do to overcome this? To overcome ourselves from being barriers to our destinies? We need to do the opposite of all I’ve said. Trust yourself, be confident of yourself, don’t think for other people, make good small choices, don’t belittle your efforts, praise yourself for little achievements, take meaningful risks, don’t limit yourself, don’t scold or beat yourself up too much for making a mistake, let your actions speak louder than your thoughts and words, let others words and opinions have little effect on your dream drive, not all critics are right, think positive thoughts, use your talents after you figure out what it is, and ultimately Trust God in all you do. And these important three.

     — Dream yourself to do it: I’ve learnt that If you can dream it, you can definitely make your dreams come true. If you visualize or see yourself where you want to be in the next 5-10 years, you can surely work your way to making your dreams come true. Now, if you can’t see yourself winning a race, whatever that might be to you, either physically, mentally, academically, spiritually or financially, do you think you will enter into that competition, or take the steps required to get to the finish line? Think about that.

     — Scare yourself to do it: some people are motivated under stress, you know that fight or flight response, you can get a rush from it, sometimes I put things to last minute, the procrastinator in me and then I rush myself to do stuff before deadlines. If you care about your dream, give yourself a deadline, make it a hard one too and then show up and get it done. It might be hard to do presently and you might only get 3-4 hrs of sleep for a while but at least when you’re reaping the benefits later, you will remember your sacrifice because you didn’t from it.

     — Dare yourself to do it: your thoughts will tell you can’t do it, your body will tell you you’re too fat for this, you’re too ugly for this, you’re too skinny for this, you’re too this and too that, but dare yourself to do what you want to do  as long as you’re not burning down a gas station or making decisions to hurt yourself or others. Dare yourself to write that proposal, dare yourself to lose the weight, dare yourself to go back to school, dare yourself to mend that relationship, dare yourself to compete, to win, to love and ultimately to live.

Thank you very much for staying with me till this part of the video. Living in Peace is the main section of my channel so do check out the other sections.  I’m a lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason as we live our lives. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of that precious time on matters that don’t help us positively in some way. You have a decision to make, if not now, maybe later, the ball of your dream and destiny is in your court, kick it and play it. Ask questions if you have any, don’t hesitate to leave a comment as well. Like this video by giving it a thumbs up so that I can continue to make more of them and also you can follow me on Instagram @Laraddiji and subscribe to my channel so you don’t miss the many more sizzling topics to come, hover on the red hearts on the right lower corner and subscribe, why wait, its free and make sure your notification bell is activated. Please, let’s love our neighbors as ourselves and remember, to Rest.In.Peace, we all need to be Living.In.Peace, Stay blessed. You’ll see me in my next one. Bye bye.


INOY ::It’s Not Over Yet:: :: :: :: ::

22 May 2019

April was very special to me in the sense that a new life joined our family this month, and I also want to use this medium to pray for everyone looking for the fruit of the womb, I have the belief that God has heard your cries and your prayers IJN. This vlog was all about the end of my pregnancy, the beginning of a new season, the birth of our baby and his first days on earth.

I’m so so glad I recorded a little bit of my experience with the birth of my son and sharing with you guys to inspire you to record your experiences as well. I did nothing of the sort for my other kids so hopefully I’ll look back on this or my kid will look back and God willing, I will not have any ounce of regret. IJN. Regret has been on my mind lately, Whatever you want to do in a reasonable fashion that can inspire someone else in a positive light, do it. 
Don’t let anything or anyone discourage you or change your mind against it. For instance, you want to go to a school, then apply, don’t let anyone’s negative experience about schooling change your mind. Listen to advice but definitely use your judgment and weigh your options before you make your decisions.

My goal is to inspire you to make better/positive decisions about living life and helping our fellow neighbors one at a time. It’s Laraddiji here, finding my sweet place in the world, spreading good old love because it conquers all. There’s too much chaos in the world so there’ll be none in this corner. It’s all about Peaceful Living in general. With occasional Cooking, Driving Adventures. Hair tutorials. Crafts. Make-up. Raising fraternal twins and their siblings and many more.

This vlog is for educational purposes only. The information posted here might not benefit you. However, if you’re that one person who this information agrees with or speaks to, then ultimately subscribe and share with others if you’ve been inspired in one way or the other. Our time here on earth is limited in years and peaceful living is paramount to receiving favor & uncommon rewards. Let’s spend it Living.In.Peace so that we can Rest.In.Peace.

MFHP ::My Family’s Hand Portrait::

20 May 2019

Have you ever thought of something and brought it to life without 1. forgetting 2. procrastinating 3 or shrugging it off completely. Well, this project was one I said I wanted to do for the family and I explained my vision for my husband and he helped to bring it to fruition. Family is everything to me because they are the closest to you. They support you in all you do, they don’t reject you even when you make mistakes. Family won’t punish you for the decisions you make, they might disagree with you and they’ll let you know, but they will not throw you away because of it. You don’t choose your family, they are attached to your destiny. “When you love what you have, you have everything you need”

It’s so nice to see the kids hands on the frame now when they’re kids, they do grow up so fast and this project will be a reminder of where we’ve been as a family. If you are ever thinking of something, a project, no matter how small it is that you want to do personally or for the family or for your church or kids school or community, go ahead and do it, you might think it won’t benefit anybody, if it benefits one person, then your dream was not a waste. What is that project you’ve been thinking of doing… take a step and another step and before you know it, you’ll be done with it. And then you’ll be able to inspire somebody else.

We had fun doing this project, it didn’t take too much time at all, we just got a frame ($25 at TJ Maxx and got a set of paint from amazon (1$3) and slathered it on our hands and pasted it on the board.

My goal is to inspire you to make better/positive decisions about living life and helping our fellow neighbors one at a time. It’s Laraddiji here, finding my sweet place in the world, spreading good old love because it conquers all. There’s too much chaos in the world so there’ll be none in this corner. It’s all about Peaceful Living in general. With occasional Cooking, Driving Adventures. Hair tutorials. Crafts. Make-up. Raising fraternal twins and their siblings and many more. 
This vlog is for educational purposes only. The information posted here might not benefit you. However, if you’re that one person who this information agrees with or speaks to, then ultimately subscribe and share with others if you’ve been inspired in one way or the other. Our time here on earth is limited in years and peaceful living is paramount to receiving favor & uncommon rewards. Let’s spend it Living.In.Peace so that we can Rest.In.Peace.
L.In.P   Living In Peace
L.I.F.E Life In Fast Express
F.S.T.L Freestyle
S.O.F.T School Of Fraternal Twins
D.I.Y.T Do It Yourself Today
M.R.I Monthly Review In Jan-Dec
Facebook laravatar, if you want to know more about me
FB Page Laraddiji follow my page for more information about LinpRinp.
Instagram @laraddiji @laravatar
pls send me a DM here if you subscribed to my youtube
channel to be included in the running for a gift from me
Twitter @laradiji this is for those who have a twitter account
email or send me a message about videos you’d like to
watch from me.

Thank you very much for staying with me till this part of the post. Living in Peace is the main section of my blog so do check out the other sections. I’m a lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason as we live our lives. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of that precious time on matters that don’t help us positively in some way. You have a decision to make, if not now, maybe later, the ball of family is in your court. Ask questions if you have any, don’t hesitate to leave a comment as well. Like this post by giving it a star so that I can make more of them and also you can follow me on Instagram @Laraddiji and subscribe to my blog so you don’t miss the many more sizzling topics to come, why wait, its free. Please, let’s love our neighbors as ourselves and on that note, you’re permitted to share this video with everyone you know, your girlfriend, your sister, your mom, your aunty, and you can also include your boyfriend, your husband, your dad, your brothers in the gists as well. Be a good neighbor, and remember: to Rest.In.Peace, we all need to be Living.In.Peace, Stay blessed. You’ll see me in my next one. Bye bye.

YP&YP ::Your Pregnancy & Your Privacy::

5 May 2019

It’s another spoonful episode, hot hot hot from Laraddijis pot of life. I’m a lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. If you’re watching Laraddiji for the first time, you’re most specially welcome, and if you know Laraddiji already, thank you for coming back, Today’s episode is all about pregnancy and privacy, were focusing on the privacy issues women face especially those in the workforce. Mine is that of the healthcare field working as a nurse, and taking care of the public and because your belly is in everybody’s face, people and patients feel they have a say in your protruding belly. You’re probably wondering what this topic has to do with Living in Peace, well, I was just thinking one day, what if someone asked a pregnant lady the wrong question? Or what if people told them the wrong thing? That would not yield a peaceful ending at all. Imagine asking a thick lady how far along she is or when she’s due or calling an actual pregnant lady fat… those would not yield positive results at all. I’m sure you’ve heard of situations like this before or experienced one or maybe you’ve been a culprit yourself. Let us know in the comment section below of your experiences and how we could change these situations for the better. In this section, I usually talk about 5 points regarding the topic so here we go.

When do you announce?

Do you announce when you’re 3 months gone or when you start showing? Or not at all? And how should you even do it if at all? Being from a country that has very strong cultural believes, I’ve said it before on my channel, I’ll link that video after this one, announcing a pregnancy is something we don’t do mostly because of unforeseen reasons. Announcing is a no no, even if you’re visibly very pregnant. However I’m seeing that things are changing slowly and I mean very slowly about our cultural views on certain topics. Pregnancy included. Now my experience with my pregnancies is that with my first, my lips were sealed, it was hard, especially because most of the questions came from work, I’m an employee for the public, I don’t have my own business or anything and I’m not in a private space so lots of people at work, my coworkers and my patients therefore ask a lot of questions. I don’t want to say people are nosey but I just think over here people see pregnancy as a joyful thing which it’s supposed to be, you know the creation of life and you can almost see the joy in peoples’ eyes when they see that you’re pregnant and showing. However back home, people just mind their business about things of that nature, most especially situations surrounding the issues of health and if you even make mention of the pregnancy and anything negative happens to it, one might be held accountable. With my second and third I tried to hide it and deny for the longest time to avoid the conversation until I couldn’t anymore. I usually do not announce until people can see for themselves that I’m visibly pregnant. Pregnancy is something you cant hide even though it’s a very private aspect of a woman’s life and that of her family’ which leads us to the next set of  questions.

When are you due?

I feel like over here, some people ask just for the fun of it because they’ve experienced it or their family members have experienced it, sisters, moms, aunties, and want to see if there are similarities or differences from their experiences. Others ask to see how far along you are and how long more you’ll be working. And I feel others ask for genuine reasons of planning a surprise shower for you if they like you like you so they’ll need to know the date you’re due or they might even want to surprise you with gifts and so on so that they can be a part of this life you’re creating before baby is born. Culturally, I won’t say Africans in general because I don’t know what the other 55 or so countries do on the continent but the Yoruba tribe of my country Nigeria usually don’t do baby showers, that is something I leant of here, so if you’re not doing baby shower or celebrating with the pregnant lady or surprising her or the couple with gifts before she gives birth, there’s no reason to ask for the due date right? Right. Culturally, we wait until the birth of the baby to celebrate.

Do you know what you’re having?

There are only two options right? From the beginning of time, that will never change, either a boy or a girl, unless science takes us on another road with that one, we already have grandmas giving birth to their grandchildren for couples that are not even traditional, but why do people really ask this question? really? Is it for comparison? Maybe its just to make Conversation? Chit-chat? Gossip? Or maybe to share experiences? I like to think that its for the latter. You know, like this, my daughter or my sister is pregnant as well and she’s having a boy, and its her first or her fourth, she was really hoping for a girl but we’ll be glad to have a healthy baby. That brings joy to peoples heart I want to hope. Sometimes, people want to know how you feel about what you’re having and how you’re coping, are you happy or not happy if it’s a boy or girl? God is the ultimate designer for us people that have regular jobs and pay bills, but science makes it a little bit easier for the rich people to kind of choose if they want singleton, twins, triplets, boy, girl, boy boy girl, girl girl boy and so on. However sometimes our wishes don’t come true as to what we want but just know that, God has the ultimate reason why he gave you that extra girl or boy, love them, and cherish them. I kind of wanted a girl on the DL to kind of even out the scales in my family, but God knew in my deepest heart I needed a boy and he gave me and my family another handsome young man with a personality I just know will benefit many.

Is this your first kid?

I sometimes feel like people, well in this case my patients get disappointed when I tell them its not my first kid. You can almost hear the ohhh. And then the follow up question, almost calculated, so, how many do you have? Why does that really matter I always wonder, do you ever wonder too? I have three at home I’ll tell them, I need to learn the art of deflecting and  believe me I’ve tried my best to lie, sometimes to avoid the conversation and other times to focus on the matter at hand which could be asking admission questions or trying to get information to take care of them better but I’m not very good at it and I just think also that it’s a good distraction for them from the heart attack there having or that sick feeling they’re having, it definitely helps bring a smile on their faces when they’re talking about something else. It’s almost like now they’re feeling like wow, that’s a lot, and boom, from the look of disappointment to pity like they kinda feel bad for you, meanwhile I feel bad for them that they’re even in the hospital in the first place.

Who’s going to watch them? Baby sitter, family or spouse?

I usually say, my husband and I usually work it out with the support of our parents. I remember I told my 4yr old twins I couldn’t bathe them anymore and that daddy will do it when my belly was really big. So anytime they’re ready for their showers, they’ll go to their dad and say, mummy’s belly is too big, she’s going to hurt herself, you need to give us a bath and daddy would help out. I remember when the twins were born, I believe that was the year up to 3-4 babysitters were sent to jail for either drugging babies they cared for or maltreated the kids in their care, that was an eye opener for us as parents to do the best we could by ourselves without third parties in our kids lives until the kids were able to walk and talk. At this point with a 17 month old, a newborn coming soon and 4 and a half year old twins, we’re ready to figure out a better way to watch the kids while we work. Our best bet so far is to have someone watch them in the day time in our house while the twins are in school with cameras installed everywhere of course while checking in frequently.

Alright, so that concludes the questions for this episode. The last thing I’ll say is this. Everyone has an opinion and unfortunately when it comes to pregnancy and baking babies sorry making babies, unsolicited ones will come.. give a fake laugh or something and move along, that’s what I did for my kids. People will tell you, your tummy it’s too big, it’s too small, when will you stop working, when’s your due date? You’re ready to pop, you’re all belly… Trust me, the battle is not even worth it, how many will you fight in a day… you’ll learn that even your well wishers will say some cringeworthy stuff at times that they don’t really mean, or maybe they do… You just patiently wait and enjoy your baby when he/she comes… that’s what I’m looking forward to now regardless of how tired I am of working, regardless of my waddles, regardless of the comments, I’m too tired to give those comments the light of day… and at the end of the day, you’ll be back to your regular self hopefully soon and don’t worry, there’ll still be more comments… ha ha ha them and move on with your life. This mouth was made for talking, that’s just what it’ll do, one of these days, this mouth is gonna talk all about you. The comments and rudeness will not end until judgement day.

 That’s all for now you guys, thank you very much for staying with me till the end. Living in Peace is the main section of my channel so do check out the other sections. You can also follow me on Instagram @Laraddiji and subscribe to my YouTube channel so you don’t miss the many more sizzling topics to come. I’m a lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason as we live our lives. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of that precious time on matters that don’t help us positively in some way. You have a decision to make, if not now, maybe later, the ball of patience is in your court. Ask questions if you have any, don’t hesitate to leave a comment as well. Hoping to read from you awesome people very soon. Like this video by giving it a thumbs up so that I can make more of these videos and also to get notified of newly posted videos, why wait, hover on the hearts to the right lower corner and subscribe, why wait, its free and make sure your notification bell is activated. Check out my suggested videos at the end of this one. Please, let’s love our neighbors as ourselves and remember, to Rest.In.Peace, we all need to be Living.In.Peace, Stay blessed. You’ll see me in my next one. Bye bye.

MFYM ::My Fellow YouTube Mentors::

13 Mar 2019

Yay!! Its another Living In Fast Express week with Laraddiji, the section where I talk about what’s going on in life in general or something that has ticked me into putting this together. Today, I wanted to focus on youtubers who inspired me to start my own YouTube channel. I’ll only talk about five of them from the most recent channel I subscribed to and how they’ve inspired me in my journey on YouTube. 

I just subscribed to her channel this year and so far, I’m amazed at how the young people of this generation are thriving with social media, youtube especially as a part time job and as a passive source of income. She’s married to an African man, not sure which country but her name LuchiLoyale. She’s 25yrs old and does mostly Hair videos & lifestyle vlogs. She’s hails from Nigeria, an Ibo Lady and is based in Iowa in this country, she’s also married and just had her first child. She’s a full time ICU nurse and a part time youtuber. I identified with her channel because she was a young pregnant lady at the time when I subscribed, but now, she has a week old son, she’s also a nurse and understands the struggles of work, family life and having a YouTube channel plus, she has natural hair which like me, we’re always looking for ways to make everything work.

The other person I subscribed to is Bibiana Yetty Vlogs, she vlogs mostly about balancing work life and family life. She is from Nigerian and is a Yoruba woman based in United Kingdom. She is married with 3 children who are fraternal twins with a boy sibling. She is a Dentist by day and also a part time youtuber. I identified with her channel because first of all she has fraternal twins like I do who are a year older than mine and she also has a little boy who is a year older than my little guy. She’s a Christian and I love that her family live a Godly life. One of the reasons I started my channel was to promote living a peaceful life and how can that be achieved if you don’t have the peace of God in your life? If you don’t have the love of God as the basis for your life? You know?

This lady I’m about to mention is a business savvy, fashion forward, makeup lover and the recent author of a book called Heart and Hustle.  She has her own makeup lip-stick from MAC, and is based in the United Kingdom and she’s also from Nigeria, I’m not sure if she’s an Ibo or yoruba woman. Actually another youtuber that is on my list that I’m yet to mention refer her as a mentor and I decided to look her up. She studied in the UK and her channel is mostly about makeup but she dabbles in fashion a lot, and she has over 2 million subscribers on her channel. She’s married with a child, and does YouTube full time. I identify with Patricia Bright because I’ve learnt a lot on the topic of being business savvy and how to save money for a business as an entrepreneur.

The next youtuber I’ll mention is that of Sisi Yemmie, she’s a food and lifestyle blogger that was based in the Uk at a time of her life, during her university days, I can’t remember what she studied however, she moved back home to start a family and fell in love with vlogging about living in Nigeria. Her channel is mostly about  Food and Lifestyle. Like I said, like my previous subscriptions, she’s Nigerian and is a Yoruba woman. She is married with two kids now, her daughter was born in the best month of the year, you can guess what month that is, it’s mine as well, February 22. She’s on YouTube fulltime and I love her channel for one reason, her openness and honesty in a nation that is used to the people who keep a lot of information to themselves. One thing I’ve learnt here in the States is that, a lot of people are open about their life and are honest about their problems and thus get help earlier rather than later. There’s a lot in Nigeria that needs change and I’m glad that change is already happening, it seems slow but at least I’m glad its happening.

The first youtuber that lit a youtube light in me was the Ngeeshow which is a channel by Ms. Ngozi. Its mostly a Talk show that resonated with me since I had  a lot of writings that could be turn to a talk show basically. She’s of Ibo decent from Nigeria and she is based in Nigeria as well. She’s a Christian, married and has a child, I’m not sure how many there are or how old. She’s a marker by day I believe and a part  time youtuber. I fell in love with her set and her editing style and how she presents a topic, recently she talked about the issue of #metoo movement in Nigeria and how a lot needs to change in how women are perceived and treated when a negative situation arises especially in the case of sexual harassment and sexual misconduct.

Like I said earlier, its only in education and talking about issues that’s plaguing our societies can we start a change in how situations are handled anywhere in the world. Perspectives need to be changed and new cultures need to be developed so that all these old ways of living will not rule in a generation that has obviously gone through a lot of change through the education of its people and especially with people that have experienced better ways of living. It will make no sense to experience a better way of life with people that know how it is done in well developed countries and then go back home and you only incorporate the negative ways of living from abroad. We need people that will bring home positive ways of living and positive lifestyles to our enriched culture while incorporating our leveles of education to make our individual countries great again.

I’m Laraddiji and my channel is mostly about living a positive and peaceful Lifestyle. I’m Nigerian and I’m based in the United States, I’m married with 3 kids, twins plus their sibling, I’m a nurse and practitioner and a part time youtuber, I’m looking forward to the journey ahead. I incorporated the talk show style of Ngee show, and lifestyle vlogging of the other youtubers I mentioned and so far I’ve been having fun with it all, I’m so glad and I thank you very much for staying with me till this time. Please let us know who means a lot to you that you learn from or study.

That’s all folks, I’m a lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. Ask questions if you have any, don’t hesitate to leave a comment as well. I’m hoping to read from you awesome people very soon. Like this post by giving it a thumbs up. To get notified of newly posted videos, why wait, Subscribe now. Let’s love our neighbors as ourselves. Remember, to Rest.In.Peace, we all need to be Living.In.Peace, Stay blessed.

RS&RW ::RelationShips & Wrecks::

9 Mar 2019

Yay!! It’s march!!! And I’m so excited to be back here, the year is moving right along and I hope you’re ticking those to-do boxes. Welcome to my blog, I‘m Laraddiji. If you’re watching for the first time, you’re most specially welcome. Today, it’s all about Living in Peace, this is the main section of my blog? Feel free to explore the other sections after this, there’s tons of information that might speak to you. Check them out, they’re getting better and juicier if I do say so myself. Now, we can get into today’s topic. It’s a long one, but I promise, you’ll be entertained all through.  I’ll be talking about relationships for this week’s episode. So let me ask you, Are you in a relation-ship or on a relation-wreck as in wreckage, as in floating debris, as in, a doomed relationship, which can still be saved by the way?

Whether you like it or not, we have relationships with everything around us, with our beds, our pillows, with the air we breathe when we first wake up, with the water we take our showers with, with the fire we used to make that hot water to get our first cup of tea or coffee in the morning. We also have relationships with everyone around us, our families, our friends, casual or romantic relationships. We have relationships with the stores we patronize, the schools we attend, the religious places we go, and the financial institutions we frequent and many more. But what exactly is the meaning of a relationship? It is the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected, as defined by google dictionary. Relation however is the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected; a thing’s effect on or relevance to another.

The relationship  we have with inanimate objects depend on our choices alone, for instance, I can choose to sleep on my bed or sleep on a couch, the bed and couch have no choice, it can’t say, get off me. However the relationship we have with people, groups or institutions are dependent on both sides making decisions, a person can choose to love another person while that other person has a choice as well to reciprocate that love or not.  To understand a concept, sometimes you have to break it down into sub groups to make it easier to understand, In Laraddiji’s simple understanding of things, and of the word relationship, I’ve broken it down into relation-ship. I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m comparing a relation-ship to that of a relation-wreck, so here we go.

A ship has a Captain, they are in charge of the operations of sea vessels, such as cruise ships, fishing boats, tugboats, freighters, barges or ferry boats. “When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” said Donald Miller. Who’s driving or steering or whatever you do with a ship to make it move, who’s the captain of a relationship? In a relationship, there’s usually someone who unconsciously takes on this role. In others, it might be s hared but there’s at least someone in charge, otherwise there’ll be a sort of confusion when it’s time to take on a challenging task. *Who’s the boss in this relationship? As a Christian and a believer, Christ is our ultimate Captain or Boss if you will and decisions are made based on the level of the relationship you have with him, you see? That’s another relationship, a spiritual one. In a relationship, you can have a boss, kind of, you know, they make most of the decisions. *Should there be a captain in this relationship? I totally believe there should be a captain especially in a relationship, you might not know right away who it is but as you go along, you’ll realize who’s always better to be in charge, to keep the ship afloat. I always tell my husband that I’ll take care of some things and in other areas, I tell him to take charge. I feel women do a better job at being in charge than men because they’re generally more intuitive while men sometimes take their time in making decisions you know, depending on the situation. *Who makes the decisions in this relationship? Culturally and religiously, men are known to be in charge and therefore they’re supposed to make all decisions for the family but we thank God things are changing, and women can make decisions in the family as well, as long as there’s a collaboration going on, I believe that’s the whole point of marriage anyway or being in a relationship at all. Each individual’s voice should be heard and then a decision can be made, not one-sided at all. *Who checks the captain in this relationship? Whoever is not the captain should check the other and it is to be respectfully done. So that your captain license will not be revoked. There are people in relationships who have abused their captainship either in issues of trust or in issues of loyalty, so if you’re known to be the boss of your relationship, pls take your job seriously.

A ship has lifeboats, it is purposed for use in emergencies and is usually more than one depending on the number of people on board. “You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.” Frederick Buechner said that. In a relationship, a couple might think it’s all about them, but there are actually many people attached to them, in laws especially on both sides, it is American to be about only your immediate family, however, us Africans know the importance of the extended family in a relationship and therefore makes sense to be ready for an emergency at any time. *Who and what are your lifeboats in this relationship? Lifeboats can be physical in nature such as a physical person that can help you in the time of trouble. Lifeboats can also be spiritual or financial in nature. Spiritual in the sense that, when our relationship is in trouble, we can call on God to help us… not friends, not parents and definitely not co-workers. Financially in the sense that, hopefully you have a savings account for emergencies. In a disaster while on a ship, the people can get into a lifeboat for safety, the same goes in a relationship, financially, a lifeboat or two should be made available, remember its not all about you guys. You as an individual couple might be a lifeboat for someone else. So it’s a smart idea be ready for emergencies.  *Do you have any lifeboats in this relationship? The answer to this is either yes or no, if you do, very good, if not, it’s a good idea to start mending friendships and fixing broken bridges.  *When doodoo hits the fan, who do you fall back on? Siblings can fall back on each other, couples can fall back on each other, families can fall back on each, depending on the type of relationship you have with the other party, that might determine how much of a lifeboat size they’ll be to you. *Who are your advisers/advisors? This falls under maybe social lifeboats, people that you are not related to that can have a say in your relationships, some have friends, some have professional assistance, psychologists, psychiatrist, counsellors, pastors and so on: these people can and do advice or guide peoples’ thinking into hopefully making right choices in the situations of life. *Savings, do you have any in this relationship? This falls under finances,  having a financial lifeboat… money they say is the root of all evil but it can also solve a lot of problems. Especially in a relationship, financial management can be a huge topic that can wreck a relationship. So to avoid a wreck, it is wise to have like an account for emergencies, so when you see your ship ready to hit an iceberg, you have lifeboats of money to take you to safety.

A ship can be directed, that round steering wheel is not for fun. If a ship wants to go from point A to B, it will need to be steered. “No road is long with good company.” Turkish Proverb. What’s steering your relationship, is it money? is it love? is it kids? Let’s dive into this one. *Do you have a goal, or goals in your relationship? If you want to travel for the first year or two of your relationship, that’s a goal, and you’ll be steering your relationship in that direction. If it is completing your education in whatever capacity you’re at, then that’s steering your relationship in that direction, if it is having children, that’s also steering. *Are those goals short or long term in your relationship? This goal trips you’re taking or embarking on, are they short trips or long trips, think about it, if they’re short, you’ll get to your destination sooner and the risks will be lower and you might be able to accomplish them, however, there might be storms in the way of achieving longer trips, as in long term goals, so always be prepared individually and as a couple on what your goals are and how you want to accomplish them.  *Are these goals to be achieved individually or as a couple or as a whole family?   Let’s take for instance, I have an independent short term goal of saving $100 a month for my personal use. As a couple, we can have a long term goal of saving $1000 for the year and as a whole family, mine and that of my husbands, we could be planning a big cruise trip that’ll cost some more money, does that make sense? *How do you move forward in a relationship? I don’t think ships can reverse and if so, I learnt they only do so in emergencies. So, in a relationship and in life in general, the goal is to always move forward. Reversing should only be last last resort. *It takes time to get to the destination of trust.  To attain anything good in life, it all takes time, nothing happens by magic, the same goes in relationships, to get to the destination of trusting a relationship, there will be storms, there will be strong winds, there will be disagreements, there will be arguments guaranteed but at the end of the day, it’ll strengthen the trust bond that you both will share. So pls, in whatever relationship you’re in, in times of arguments, disagreements, and even distrust, just know that this will deepen and strengthen the love you have for each other, if only you can endure.

A ship has an engine or sometimes multiple engines for different purposes, to basically create motion by turning the ship’s propellers through the water.

“We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics.” Joyce Meyer said that one. When compared to a ship, a relation-ship needs an engine as well, a motivator, a source of energy that keeps it going and growing. Communication is a big part of a relationship and I want to consider it as the major source of energy for a relationship to survive just like diesel or fuel to a ship. *What keeps you guys going and moving in your relationship? Lack of conflict might keep some people together or even comfortability. If it aint broke, don’t fix it. *Is it your genuine love for each other? For some, the genuine love for each other is what keeps the relationship going, regardless of what’s happening in it. They might be broke, they might not have children, they might be all about their career but their true love for each other keeps them going. I wish I had an example of a couple like that, there’s some in Hollywood and they would’ve been together for years, if you know one, pls comment. *Are the kids the engine in the relationship? For some, they are, because they believe that the kids are the priority of that relationship even if it is broken or not. *Is money the engine in this  relationship? For some, money is the engine that keeps their relationship going. This is very rampant in what you see in Hollywood, hello (prenups)but it happens in regular peoples lives as well, just not on a larger scale. *Is the relationship feeding off of the physical aspects of its partners? For some it is and I’ll just leave that there. Well, some women like the physicals of their partners and therefore if he’s looking good, they’ll stay, but if he’s loosing his hair or loosing his muscles, they might not stay in that relationship. Same goes for women, this is partly why some men cheat, if the woman is not looking as thin or as  cute or as put together as she once was, they start loosing interest forgetting that, the bimbo outside the relationship will eventually age too. In a ship where the physical aspects of your partner is the engine, do you think that relationship will last? Time, age and gravity will always wins, unless you get Botox and all these chemicals put into your system but in the end, even that cant win.

A ship is purposeful, it is either used to get people, materials or containers from a piece of land to another and it can also be a vessel for fun as in cruise ships. A relationship between two people can be purposeful as well, it can either be to lead to a marriage or a partnership. Today, I’ll only focus on the one that ends in a marriage. *Why did you even start this relationship in the first place? There are many purposes why any man would want to engage a woman in a relationship, to grow, to learn, to heal, for companionship, for love, and for some to have kids to keep the family name going. *Is your partner’s outward appearance a reason to start a relationship? For some, that might be the reason. I’ve said it before as the engine, so, if outward appearance is the main purpose of a relationship, then, that might be hard to maintain in the long run. However, some people make it work, take for instance personal trainers, as a couple, they might decide to own a gym to train their customers, however, they have to be invested in taking care of their outward appearances. *Is your relationship for financial gain? Especially when there’s a lot of money involved, like if the partner came into money through his/her dead parents, trust fund monies and others, some relationships have been started for financial gain, now, you can guess what will happen when that s money runs out. *Is your relationship solely for your Security in life? Ok, let’s tackle this one. Security in the sense that you won’t have to worry too much about the necessities of life? I remember growing up, they’ll tell you, marry a lawyer, doctor of engineer so that you won’t suffer. But who says specializing in other areas cannot secure you financially? So of course like that lagbaja song goes, baby tani Ko fewa, sugomu, imu lo yi siwa, Elejowewe,  Alabere, Alajo somolu, Tabon tabon, Security In a relationship should not only be based on how much money is available but in potentials, aspirations, dreams and ultimately love, truly, the journey might not be a rosy one, however you will have plenty of stories to tell. Security sometimes come in after facing adversities together. *is your relationship for growth, physically, spiritually, socially, academically, intellectually, and all other allies? It should be. What’s the point of being in a relationship if you’re both not benefitting something positive? What’s the point of being in a relationship if only one of you is ‘allowed’ to grow, or heal, or succeed? A successful relationship understands that the partners involved are in a partnership and not in any form of slavery. Let’s take a simple look at this scenario: A small shop, can only one person handle the register, the stocking of the shop, the cleanliness of the shop, the ordering of the supplies, bathroom cleaning, the opening and locking up of the store? Of course not, the  owner would hire one or two more people to do certain tasks to keep the business moving. The same goes in a relationship, leading to a marriage, some men might be looking at a potential mate if they are team players or lone rangers and vice versa. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” Oprah Winfrey said that.

A ship has an anchor which is a heavy metal device attached to a ship or boat by a cable and it is usually  thrown overboard to hold the vessel in a particular place during storms or heavy winds by digging into the bottom of the ocean.  In a relationship, what can an anchor mean, and why would we ever want to place a relationship in a particular place? An anchor can actually have positive and negative meanings in a relationship. In the negative light, an anchor could be third parties to your relationship, who actually do not want your relationship to thrive and they might give you advice that can hurt or damage your relationship without you even realizing it. They could be your friends, your co-workers, some could even be your family members, trust me,  choose them wisely or listen to them wisely, or not at all, just do you. In the positive light, in a relationship, if you’re going through a rough patch, your anchor should be people who are rooting for your relationship to work not those who are ready to help you tear it down. These could be the elderly in your family who can give you relationship advice or trusted clergy if that’s who you know. In a Christian relationship, our anchor is Jesus, when an impeding storm is about to hit our relationship, and we sincerely ask God to take control, he definitely will so that that relationship will not hit the rocks and be disintegrated. “You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” Epicurus said it. You get?

Now that we know what a relationship entails a little bit better with the analogy of a ship, let’s see if you’re in a relationship or a relation-wreck. What does a ship have that a wreckage doesn’t? First of all, a wreckage is the remains of something that has been badly damaged or destroyed. Will a relation-wreckage need a captain? It won’t, it is not based on any good or solid foundation, most likely blind in nature, so the parties do whatever they like. Will a relation-wreckage have lifeboats? There’s not enough room on a wreckage for its partners, talk less of having a lifeboat. The parties are so into themselves that there’s not enough room to think about emergencies. Will a relation-wreckage stand the test of time in times of trouble, in high winds or in storms? A wreckage usually drifts on water and therefore is in the mercy of the direction of the water. In a relations-wreckage, you’re at the mercy of whatever is going on in your life at that moment. Will a relation-wreckage not have any emergencies? A wreckage usually is a result of an emergency, and at that time, all you’ll need to find is another ship to save you or for you to be fish-food. The same goes for a relation-wreckage, this partnership is usually as a result of a broken relationship because as we have said, it is a result of a ship-wreck. A relation-wreckage does not have an engine, there’s nothing that’s moving them forward except the lusts of life, which includes that of the eyes, flesh and that pf the pride of life. There’s no love involved in this kind of relationship, no kids, and no money even. A relation-wreckage has no true purpose. It is the result of an emergency, a ship wreck, so this partnership is usually useless, it has no long term benefits for both involved, so why even get involved? A wreckage has no anchor, well think about it, this little speck on the water has no captain, no lifeboat, no direction, no engine, no purpose, why should it have an anchor? You know?

Do you get where I’m going with this yet? If you haven’t guessed what type of relationship I am talking about yet, well, it’s a cheating relationship, it’s an affair, it’s a relationship with no strings attached and others you can think of. Are you in a relationship, a partnership, a purposeful relationship or are you in a relation-wreck? In the name of, which is the main umbrella of my channel, you see why a relationship is meant to be lived in peace, partners should be collaborating in moving their ships forward, while relying on God as their anchor in times of storms and struggles because they will come. If you’re currently in a relation-wreck, and you have no captain, no lifeboats, no direction, no engine, no anchor, my girl, my guy, you better get off and swim to safety. Take care of yourself first and board another ship when and only when you’re sure  and ready to be someone else’s partner.

Thank you very much for staying with me till the end, I hope you’ve learnt something new today. That’s all for now you guys, I’m a lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings.  Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason as we live our lives. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of our precious time on matters that don’t help us positively in some way. Ask questions if you have any, don’t hesitate to leave a comment as well. Hoping to read from you awesome people very soon. Like this video by giving it a thumbs up. To get notified of new posts Subscribe now. Check out my suggested entries at the end of this one. Please, let’s love your neighbors as ourselves. Remember, to Rest.In.Peace, we all need to be Living.In.Peace, Stay blessed.

DQ:KM ::Don’t Quit: Keep Moving::

6 Feb 2019 2 Comments

“Where there is no struggle, there is no strength” Oprah Win

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” Fredrick Douglass

So I decided to add another section to my blog where I’ll go over specific events that’s worth sharing in a given month. Hence, the birth of Monthly Reviews. This will be its first for the month of January. All in the name of living in peace to resting in peace. So today, I wanted to encourage someone.. And especially myself because I love talking to myself and I realized that we need encourage ourselves and we ought to be encouraged once in awhile as well to reaffirm that what we’re doing is towards a particular goal. This might not be for you right now but it could be for someone that hasn’t even heard of my channel before years down the line.

Don’t Quit : Keep Moving, in everything, we are to give thanks to God almighty, when things are going well and when things are very rough and tough, still give thanks. When your plans fall through or doesn’t, still give thanks, even when everything seems to be going haywire, still give thanks. It seems like it’s a hard and impossible thing to do, and in that time is when the impossible will happen for you. Many people have found solutions to a lot of peoples problems not when they had everything and definitely not when they had everything figured out, not even when everything was rosy rosy but actually when they themselves were broke, rejected, and depressed, when they had hit rock bottom and maybe thinking of even ending their lives. This new year gave birth to a new me like every one usually says, because something happened in this first month of the year and even though I want to shout it out from a roof top, this will be the closest for me to do just that. My husband said something important to me after the struggles ended, if things happened easily for people, people wouldn’t have any reason to give thanks and they would have no story to tell but if there was a little bit of struggle, you would have a story for the people. So I want to encourage you today, not everyone will climb that next rung of the ladder in their lives easily. Some will struggle some rungs will break, some will need fixing, some will need glue, some might need new nails, some might need a whole new ladder and unfortunately but fortunately, that is ok. Everyone’s time is different, sooooooo different.

I thank God Almighty ultimately that I have this opportunity to do this little video and hopefully it will touch someone that needs it at their right time. A very dear friend of mine happens to be someone that doesn’t like to toot his horn, because he’s very aware of others that are still struggling and he doesn’t want others to ever feel that he’s tooting his horn at the expense of others. He’s always telling me my time will come. He doesn’t want others to feel like he’s rubbing their noses in his achievements. So you know Laraddiji had to help him spread his good news for encouragement, here’s what he said, he told me he graduated four years ago with his masters degree and ever since, he had been battling with his certification exam so that he could get a job and move on with his life but  unfortunately he would take that exam more than a couple of times. This was happening the same time his family was also growing in number. In his last year of schooling, he was very distracted and couldn’t focus on his studies even though that year was just practicums only. He had focused more on other things than his school work and he paid for it in the end, he couldn’t pass his final exam, the 1st time, he failed them, the 2nd time, the same thing, the third time, he had scheduled for the easier exam according to his classmates and he failed it yet again, that was the worst he said, he cried, he felt dumb and felt so stupid, this was supposed to be the easier exam, he thought he really knew the answers that time. He broke down but he immediately picked himself up even though it really really hurt that time, that hurt he said took a year to get over.

In the food court where we sat in the mall, I could see his eyes glistening, he said fear had started to creep in from the beginning of the test he had first failed,  he had began to get scared of the test, every time he thought about it, he would take a deep breath within himself. He said he then equipped himself with some bible verses anytime he had those thoughts of doubt and fear.

Isaiah 41:10 I will not fear, for you are with me, I will not be dismayed, for you are my God. He will strengthen me and help me; He will uphold me with His righteous right hand.

Philippians 4:6-7 I will not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, I will present my requests to you. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. 

2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given me a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 

Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. 

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me

Matthew 6:34 Therefore I will not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvationwhom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my lifeof whom shall I be afraid?

Deuteronomy 31:6 I will be strong and courageous.  I will not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord my God goes with me; he will never leave me nor forsake me.

Psalm 46:1 God is my refuge and my strength, an ever-present help in trouble

Psalm 118:6-7 The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The Lord is with me; he is my helper.

Psalm 34:4  I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.  He freed me from all my fears.

Deuteronomy 3:22 I will not be afraid of them; the Lord my God himself will fight for me. 

You guys, if there’s anything that you feel is making you afraid. In this life, these bible verses will change your mind and your spirit, as in, they will renew you and change you from inside out, write them down, put them on your mirror and recite them everyday and night. The one God who made you didn’t make you by accident, why should we fear what God created? Fear God and everything he made will work for you as he himself has ordered it.

He continued, saying he gave himself f a lot of pep talks and eventually picked up his books again and started from the beginning for what he believed would be his last time, he said he spaced out his studying and gave his brain time to digest what he was reading. He summoned all courage and scheduled for the test yet again and his heart pounded, his heart sank, what if he fails it again? He said he just wanted to start the new year afresh leaving all negative thoughts back in 2018. The day of the test was nearing and he got more and more nervous,  how will he make ends meet for his family if he doesn’t pass this test this time around. The negative thoughts reared their ugly and shapeless heads and he kept telling himself to think positive thoughts, “Johnson, think positive thoughts”, and then he told himself it wouldn’t  be the end of the world if he failed it again and that sort of gave him some confidence for some reason to just relax, knowing that the world would not come crashing down because he failed an exam and remembering that God wouldn’t leave his own.

1.) They said get a good night sleep before your test day, but he said he was so nervous, he was up all night trying to distract himself from the day ahead that he started writing his thoughts down.

2.) They said eat a good breakfast before your test day, but he was sick to his stomach like crazy from what he had eaten the night before, he was so uncomfortable, and I guess he was so hungry afterwards that he said he was smelling different types of food in the exam hall the next day.

3.) They said, don’t study 1-2 days before the test day to rest your brain, but he said he was so nervous about forgetting some things before the exam day that he was still memorizing some things the night before, he needed to refresh his memory again and again and again.

4.) They said take a break mid-way through your exam so you can relax your brain a bit and not get too overwhelmed in one seating, he told me went through the test in one seating, 4 hr straight, he even slept, woke up, and was day dreaming even in the exam hall and had only a min to spare at the end of it all because he hadn’t followed the rule of getting a good nights rest. So he panicked a bit multiple times because his time was running out and eventually he clicked submit to finish the exam.

When he clicked ‘finished’ and saw PASS he said he had to look again, he thought it was a mistake, it had to be an error, or maybe he was in one of his day dreams, he wiped his face again and again and pinched himself. PASS was still on the screen. He reminded myself he wouldn’t cry and comported himself like the gentleman he was and is,  kept calm till he got out of his seat, out the door, to his car and drove home. He couldn’t keep the excitement to a later date that he was thinking of so he told his immediate family when he got home. Two, three days to a wk later, he still couldn’t believe he had passed his exam, just like that, his life that was on pause for a while could now continue, he told me with tears now in his eyes as he finished his story. Backtracking to a movie I saw recently, Night school, I felt like my friend Johnson was Kevin in the movie, when I saw the end, I said oh shoot, that’s Johnson, going back to take his exam over and over again, not that Johnson had a learning disorder but that feeling one gets when one has to restart and jumpstart your brain after failing an exam, but at the end of the day, Kevin and Johnson passed eventually. Hopefully  Johnson will let us in once in while on how he’s doing at work which is his next hurdle, getting over the first year of work, which he says is no joke but guess who’s confident now more than ever? Guess who feels they can conquer anything they put their mind to? Guess who’s ready for the next rung of the ladder? Will that be you?

A little reflection after today’s episode. who would’ve have ever thought I’ll be writing for fun today? I remember when I was in school, I hated writing papers like crazy but I later realized that as soon as I would get my creative juices flowing on a topic, I’d find it hard to stop and end up writing less than I would’ve really wanted if only I had started earlier. I procrastinate you see and ever since I started this channel, I’ve been more productive especially with giving myself deadlines, planning my time and executing them. I struggle at times because in the end I’m still a daughter, a wife, an aunt, an in law and most importantly human, so I’ll continue trying to being the best of myself that I can be. “That which you really love or hate doing now might end up being your saving grace and purpose in life… So, pray for guidance on which is which?”

I hope I’ve encouraged and inspired you today to keep going no matter what and keep it moving. Don’t ever give up on your dreams, at one time even Johnson thought maybe God was giving him a sign to give up entirely but I’m so glad he didn’t, I’m sure he is too. Thank you very much for staying with me up until this time, If you’re watching for the first time, you’re most specially welcome to this drove. So, that’s all for now. Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of our precious time thinking on what we would’ve, could’ve and should’ve done some time ago and just do it already. You have a decision to make about that exam you’ve been thinking about, that program you want to enroll in, that job you’ve been considering, the confidence ball is in your court. Don’t forget to like this post and subscribe if you’ve been inspired in any way so you don’t miss any new uploads, what are you waiting for, its free. Do check out my other posts and I’m hoping to read comments from you very soon. Don’t forget to love your neighbors as yourself like I always say and remember, to Rest in Peace, we all need to be Living in Peace, Stay blessed.

YMTM ::You Must Thank Me!! ::

4 Feb 2019

So that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. – Matthew 6:4

How should I even start today’s topic? In the name of Living In Peace, this has been burning my heart to talk about. How many times do you thank someone that did something for you or bought something for you or gave their time for you. My philosophy always has been to do what you want to do for someone and keep it moving, as in do what’s in your heart for someone expecting nothing in return even a thank you. No one forces you to do anything for another person, and peoples behavior or thinking shouldn’t force you into doing anything you want or don’t want to do. and as such we shouldn’t force anyone to thank us in our behaviors, in our thinking and in our doing just because of what others have done for us. 

In my language, yoruba, we have some sayings regarding giving thanks. I’ll talk about two that I hear often.

**Eni taa se loore ti o dupe, bi eniti olosha ko eru e lo ni. Now let’s break it down on the surface

The person that was helped that refused to say thanks, is likeened to someone who lost his properties to a robber.

**Eni to ba dupe ore anan a ri imi gba. Now let’s break this one down for its surface meaning.

The person that gave thanks for yesterday’s goodness will receive more at another time

I have learnt to interpret this in another way, and you might say that I’m wrong, however, the ways of our people back in the day influenced their culture and these sayings are still being practiced till today which I feel, there are some things that need to change, these sayings or proverbs and many more I feel have very deep meanings to the people that lived in those times, my parents are still part of the generation thats living in that era, as you know, culture is something that we are losing fast because the times are changing fast especially for those that are living here abroad. As a Christian and as a modern woman, we are still holding on to these sayings that are wreaking havoc and causing issues in our lives today and for the sake of living in peace, I feel things need to change. Now in regards to giving thanks for what people have done for you, culture dictates you have to thank and thank and keep thanking whoever does something good for you forever? so that as the proverb goes, you wont want to be a robber who has taken other peoples’ properties away or for the thought that  you’ll be able to get more next time right? Come on, first of all, when we give, we give willingly, nobody forces us to give, no one will take you to a police station if you don’t give willingly and I am very sure that if I don’t have something to give today doesn’t mean that I wont have something to ogive you tomorrow, regardless of your thanks. 

This is my thinking. I love you so much, you’re such a nice person, you have a beautiful soul, you go out of your way to help people, so therefore, 1) when you’re celebrating any kind of achievement? “I will celebrate with you as well” 2) your kids are having a birthday party? “I’ll buy something for them because I love them and I have some money or maybe I can’t buy something for them now but I’ll be sure to be there in person” that’s ok too. 3) oh, you’re getting married, “I will make sure I have some time off so that I can be there with you, whether or not I have money to buy you a gift as well, and if I can’t make it, I hope you won’t be mad, it’s because of some reason I couldn’t get out of”

Now, on the other side, on the flip side, and on the opposite side, some people will say, “Your mum was there at my daughters wedding so I ‘have’ to be there for your daughters’ wedding as well but I have no money so I have to borrow money so she knows I came and bought something also. Or maybe the situation is that, she gave me $50 for my birthday so I’ll have to give Her $50 as well on her birthday when it rolls around, or some people turn theirs into a competition, if they get $100, then at the next party, they’ll in turn give $150 or something of that worth, you’ll be surprised that some people think this way and it’s what gets me so upset especially from the people you know. 

One that really gets me upset is when you’re told, that lady will get really upset if you don’t call her and thank her for the gift she gave you. I understand the importance of being appreciative but when the motive is to prevent someone from getting upset and talking about it to other people, then I don’t believe in it. Like this, “can you believe I gave her this and that and she didn’t even say thank you?”. I don’t want to contradict myself, what I mean is, people can genuinely forget to thank you for what you’ve done for them depending on the situation, does that mean then that I’ll now get upset for  you not thanking me for what I’ve done for you? This is why my motive for doing anything is not to receive any thanks. My reason for doing anything for anyone is my genuine love for them. Don’t go out of your way for someone and then complain about that which you have done later. Nobody can force you into doing what you don’t want to do. If your motive is to receive “thanks” from the people you help, please don’t do it, the action itself is empty. 

If I said thank you physically when you gave me a physical gift or your time gift and I showed my utmost and genuine appreciation for the thought and the time you gave to my family, I believe that should be enough. Is there a need for a phone call follow up, a text, an email? pls let me know, I want to learn Now I understand if I see you again, I can still say, “oh thank you so much for the time and the gift you gave to my family the other day”. But why bother you till embarrassment with my thanks. I’m a face to face kind of person, and I believe “text message” thanks feels kind of impersonal so I don’t do it. This is my thinking. I’m so thankful for my short term memory because it doesn’t let me keep a lot of information in my head and as such… I move on too quickly from life, “I don’t hold on to life too tight” and this pisses some people off a lot but I’m sure it’s because they’re ‘old school’ and our African culture has it that your thank you must be in abundance so that you can get more in the future which is great.

If I have given you my time and my gift, I’ve done it for God for me personally, and I don’t ‘expect’ you to thank me, as in, go out of your way, if you do, I’m very happy, you know, it’s obviously a good thing because that’s what we’ve been taught from when we’re kids, to be thankful, otherwise, I don’t dwell, I’ve done mine for God and I’ve most likely forgotten about it by the next day, but unfortunately, I’ve come to realize that not everyone thinks this way, so for the sake of LivingInPeace, please, don’t hold people unconsciously hostage for a simple “thank you” for the second, third, fourth and fifth time because the empty thanks people will give you will be worthless. And ultimately, don’t announce to others what you have done for someone when they were at their lowest points, only God can reward those deeds, announcing to others I feel diminishes the purpose why you did what you did in the first place. “can you imagine, I’m the one that bought him his first car oh, when he first came to this country, he had nothing then, myself and my wife bought him his first plates he was using to eat.” does that sound right?

Alright you guys, I hope I’ve sparked a conversation in your mind, and I’ll stop right here, Let us remember that at the end of the day, there will be times when people will not remember to thank you for what you’ve done, don’t take it too personal, just move on. Please, let us respect ourselves as individuals and be appreciative when a good deed is done for us and to those who are close to us. Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of that precious time on things that don’t help us grow positively in some way.  You have a decision to make, if not now, maybe later, the ball of thanks is in your court. Thank you very much for staying with me till the end, you  can like this post by giving it a thumbs up and subscribe to get notified if you’d like to get notified of new posts from me, why wait? It’s free. Don’t forget to love your neighbors as yourself let this be tnhe underlying reason we do anything for anyone and at the end of the day, let us remember that for us to RestInPeace, we all need to be LivingInPeace, Stay blessed. 

MSTM ::My Sexually Transmitted Miracle::

16 Jan 2019

Story story, you’ll say story. Once upon a time, you’ll say “time time” Welcome once again, it’s Laraddiji always and forever. No wasting time today, let’s jump in, My Sexually Transmitted Miracle, but I want to give a little advice before I give all the juicy details. If you don’t want to get pregnant dear, this is for my married folks, please my fellow women, protect yourself because these men, most of them, I will tell you now, will not get a vasectomy for you. look it up, us women can have c-sections up and down our bellies, episiotomies, up and down our hoohahs even with multiple pregnancies but they can’t get a tiny snippy, if you’re a guy watching this, please prove me wrong. Especially if you don’t have any support from your family members because you’re far away from home or for some other reasons, then you’ll need to get some Rikers Island type protection, because you have to make sure no prisoner sperm escapes trying to be a hero. You need to get an intra-uterine device, or use plain old condoms, Arm up like that Nexplanon commercial, not legging up my dear. For my unmarried folks, ask lots of questions before you even get into a serious relationship with that partner, know their answers to these questions before you go and put yourself into trouble, and pls, don’t even get into this mess unless you just like starting drama because that is what will happen when that $2 test shows a + sign, and your drama will now turn into that movie, Mission Impossible.

So, back in 2017, I kind of said, I wouldn’t have any more kids, yes I said it, like a lot of other people that have said it and it didn’t happen that way. the average number of kids in my extended family and that of my husbands’ is 3 kids or less per family, usually you’ll see one girl two boys, that was the average ratio, but apparently it was to be our blessing, let me not say burden to break that 3 kids per family issue, because I can’t call it a curse. Well, I’m so glad I didn’t sign any legal papers stating I wouldn’t come back to the hospital I had birthed my kids or to the clinics that I went for my pregnancy related checkups because I  would’ve lost so much money. When I was in labor with my second pregnancy and third child, I swore to the nurses I wouldn’t come back and they said I would, even they knew and I didn’t. I had a c-section with the twins, I thought life was good until I had to push the next baby out, you know, VBAC, vaginal birth after c-section, with no drugs, even though I went through the pain of getting the Epidural line placed at 7cm dilation, the medication was never connected, I wanted to wring her neck when the nurse said, oh the epidural wasn’t even connected to run, duh!! I think it was sabotage and done on purpose, that’s why I was in so much pain, I felt everything, but I still thanked her because I got to experience the almighty “ring of fire” and I would do ring of fire over c-section any day, mainly because of recovery time. So anyway, this is how it went down.

My first pregnancy was with twins and when I was in labor with them, up until I was 6cm dilated, I couldn’t take the pain anymore and opted for an epidural when my husband slipped out of my labor room for some minutes. If he were to be in the room,  he would’ve convinced me to take the pain like I know my mom would’ve said also which was one of the main reasons I didn’t tell her I was in labor or even at the hospital. She’d say, ‘I pushed all three of my children, no drugs, so Lara you need to push’ Well I wasn’t going to have that. I needed someone that will tell me, get the drugs even though I knew the risks.

Back to the topic of today in relation to living in peace and in regards to my miracle, if you want peace in your relationship, and I mean long term peace, pls familiarize yourself with what I’m about to say for the next couple of minutes. There are many different types of contraception, especially nowadays, CDs, IUDs, diaphragm, there are pills you can take and lastly, breastfeeding being one of the lower ranking ones, and you know your girl had backup protection but not the heavy prison type apparently. So please do your research and learn how to protect yourself. Back in the day, I wouldn’t be talking about this because its eww and yucky? Not anymore, your girl has grown, no more shy shy, lets just help each other and avoid all the mess and in the end, live a peaceful life with our men. I had used an intra uterine device before which I loved but I wanted to loose some of the weight I had gained as a result of being on the product before I went back on it but, you know I was dreaming right, with preschool twins in the house, starting pre-K, a full time “night shift” job and a baby under 1, who was I kidding, I really was pushing it, right? I mean, I still could’ve done it however, there was just too much going on. Well, that time of the month came once and disappeared again, and I’m like uh-oh, I really didn’t want to see my period anyway, who does? but then I didn’t want to be pregnant yet either, mixed feelings. Lady, what do you want? I asked myself.

To cut it really short, 3 months go by, no bloody nature, so I pushed myself to get a $2 pregnancy test cos I was like, I’m not wasting my money for something that’s going to pop out anyway in a couple of months, its not like that $20 pregnancy test is going to sing for you, right, that would be a good idea though, if they sang? I’ve wasted so much money before checking if I was pregnant with 2-3 $22 to $25 ones, so this time around, your girl wised up.  Well well well, to my surprise, it was brightly positive, no fainty fainty lines, no guessing, boldly + and before that, I had had this horrible taste in my mouth, and I still do even through the second trimester and this only happens when I’m pregnant, so I shouldn’t have even wasted my $2.

Ladies, ask them questions on those dates you go, don’t just eat and play your life away on empty promises and calories, nowadays, a marriage is a contract and a very struggling business, you don’t want to be left high and dry when your partner can’t keep their end of the commitment deal after a little amount of time. Ask what their thoughts are on sex before marriage? Ask what their thoughts are on having kids? Ask about using protection, are they for it or against it? 4. STDs History, hello? Nobody is safe anymore and definitely ask what their thoughts are about you getting pregnant for them? Are they Helpers or  Deserters? Usually you’ll know more about these guys from these conversations and their answers, these are not the only questions you should be asking by the way, girl, use your head, not your, Oh, “he’s so cute”little heart and these guys need to wake up. You don’t want your girl getting pregnant and you don’t get a bottle cover, hello? You care about your future? A lot of people have made mistakes with their girlfriends way back when that is wreaking havoc in their present relationships now, you better think before you spill your drink carelessly, I hope you guys understand me.

I remember when I was dating, my dad would ask me is he this or that? Does he have this or that, does he behave this way or that way and I would say I don’t know, and he said, so what have you people been doing? I realized I wasn’t asking the right questions, or that I was too shy to ask. Please don’t be shy with a potential life mate, dig deep and get your answers, know who you’re dealing with or at least, who you’ll be dealing with, how will you know if he’s an angel or a devil in Disguise if you don’t ask questions, the right ones?

Alright you ladies watching this,  would you ask your guys these questions  and if you did already, what were their answers? Let me know what’s on your mind about this topic of today by placing your comments below in the comment section, I’ll be glad to share mine with you. Let us remember that at the end of the day, children are blessings from the almighty God, some people go through a lot to get a good partner, some women go through a lot to get pregnant, some women go through a lot to stay pregnant, some go through a lot after the baby is born and even some go through a lot before baby can even come home. There will be times when you want your pregnancy  to be over and there’ll be times when you don’t even want to be a mom anymore but always remember that you’re not alone. Don’t be shy, Ask for help. 

That’s all for now you guys, it’s Laraddiji once again closing this video page.  I’m a  lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful answers. I’m sorry this kind of sounded like a long contraceptives commercial but it isn’t, I’m sure the guys who watch my videos will love this. But anyway, Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of that precious time on things that don’t help us positively in some way.  You have a decision to make about that baby that’s about to come into the world, if not now, maybe later, the ball is in your court. Thank you very much for staying with me, you can like this post by giving it a thumbs up so that I can make more Freestyle posts and also subscribe to get notified of newly posted videos, why wait, its free. Don’t forget to love your neighbors as yourself and at the end of the day, let us remember that for us to RestInPeace, we all need to be LivingInPeace, Stay blessed.