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YP&YP ::Your Pregnancy & Your Privacy::

5 May 2019

It’s another spoonful episode, hot hot hot from Laraddijis pot of life. I’m a lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. If you’re watching Laraddiji for the first time, you’re most specially welcome, and if you know Laraddiji already, thank you for coming back, Today’s episode is all about pregnancy and privacy, were focusing on the privacy issues women face especially those in the workforce. Mine is that of the healthcare field working as a nurse, and taking care of the public and because your belly is in everybody’s face, people and patients feel they have a say in your protruding belly. You’re probably wondering what this topic has to do with Living in Peace, well, I was just thinking one day, what if someone asked a pregnant lady the wrong question? Or what if people told them the wrong thing? That would not yield a peaceful ending at all. Imagine asking a thick lady how far along she is or when she’s due or calling an actual pregnant lady fat… those would not yield positive results at all. I’m sure you’ve heard of situations like this before or experienced one or maybe you’ve been a culprit yourself. Let us know in the comment section below of your experiences and how we could change these situations for the better. In this section, I usually talk about 5 points regarding the topic so here we go.

When do you announce?

Do you announce when you’re 3 months gone or when you start showing? Or not at all? And how should you even do it if at all? Being from a country that has very strong cultural believes, I’ve said it before on my channel, I’ll link that video after this one, announcing a pregnancy is something we don’t do mostly because of unforeseen reasons. Announcing is a no no, even if you’re visibly very pregnant. However I’m seeing that things are changing slowly and I mean very slowly about our cultural views on certain topics. Pregnancy included. Now my experience with my pregnancies is that with my first, my lips were sealed, it was hard, especially because most of the questions came from work, I’m an employee for the public, I don’t have my own business or anything and I’m not in a private space so lots of people at work, my coworkers and my patients therefore ask a lot of questions. I don’t want to say people are nosey but I just think over here people see pregnancy as a joyful thing which it’s supposed to be, you know the creation of life and you can almost see the joy in peoples’ eyes when they see that you’re pregnant and showing. However back home, people just mind their business about things of that nature, most especially situations surrounding the issues of health and if you even make mention of the pregnancy and anything negative happens to it, one might be held accountable. With my second and third I tried to hide it and deny for the longest time to avoid the conversation until I couldn’t anymore. I usually do not announce until people can see for themselves that I’m visibly pregnant. Pregnancy is something you cant hide even though it’s a very private aspect of a woman’s life and that of her family’ which leads us to the next set of  questions.

When are you due?

I feel like over here, some people ask just for the fun of it because they’ve experienced it or their family members have experienced it, sisters, moms, aunties, and want to see if there are similarities or differences from their experiences. Others ask to see how far along you are and how long more you’ll be working. And I feel others ask for genuine reasons of planning a surprise shower for you if they like you like you so they’ll need to know the date you’re due or they might even want to surprise you with gifts and so on so that they can be a part of this life you’re creating before baby is born. Culturally, I won’t say Africans in general because I don’t know what the other 55 or so countries do on the continent but the Yoruba tribe of my country Nigeria usually don’t do baby showers, that is something I leant of here, so if you’re not doing baby shower or celebrating with the pregnant lady or surprising her or the couple with gifts before she gives birth, there’s no reason to ask for the due date right? Right. Culturally, we wait until the birth of the baby to celebrate.

Do you know what you’re having?

There are only two options right? From the beginning of time, that will never change, either a boy or a girl, unless science takes us on another road with that one, we already have grandmas giving birth to their grandchildren for couples that are not even traditional, but why do people really ask this question? really? Is it for comparison? Maybe its just to make Conversation? Chit-chat? Gossip? Or maybe to share experiences? I like to think that its for the latter. You know, like this, my daughter or my sister is pregnant as well and she’s having a boy, and its her first or her fourth, she was really hoping for a girl but we’ll be glad to have a healthy baby. That brings joy to peoples heart I want to hope. Sometimes, people want to know how you feel about what you’re having and how you’re coping, are you happy or not happy if it’s a boy or girl? God is the ultimate designer for us people that have regular jobs and pay bills, but science makes it a little bit easier for the rich people to kind of choose if they want singleton, twins, triplets, boy, girl, boy boy girl, girl girl boy and so on. However sometimes our wishes don’t come true as to what we want but just know that, God has the ultimate reason why he gave you that extra girl or boy, love them, and cherish them. I kind of wanted a girl on the DL to kind of even out the scales in my family, but God knew in my deepest heart I needed a boy and he gave me and my family another handsome young man with a personality I just know will benefit many.

Is this your first kid?

I sometimes feel like people, well in this case my patients get disappointed when I tell them its not my first kid. You can almost hear the ohhh. And then the follow up question, almost calculated, so, how many do you have? Why does that really matter I always wonder, do you ever wonder too? I have three at home I’ll tell them, I need to learn the art of deflecting and  believe me I’ve tried my best to lie, sometimes to avoid the conversation and other times to focus on the matter at hand which could be asking admission questions or trying to get information to take care of them better but I’m not very good at it and I just think also that it’s a good distraction for them from the heart attack there having or that sick feeling they’re having, it definitely helps bring a smile on their faces when they’re talking about something else. It’s almost like now they’re feeling like wow, that’s a lot, and boom, from the look of disappointment to pity like they kinda feel bad for you, meanwhile I feel bad for them that they’re even in the hospital in the first place.

Who’s going to watch them? Baby sitter, family or spouse?

I usually say, my husband and I usually work it out with the support of our parents. I remember I told my 4yr old twins I couldn’t bathe them anymore and that daddy will do it when my belly was really big. So anytime they’re ready for their showers, they’ll go to their dad and say, mummy’s belly is too big, she’s going to hurt herself, you need to give us a bath and daddy would help out. I remember when the twins were born, I believe that was the year up to 3-4 babysitters were sent to jail for either drugging babies they cared for or maltreated the kids in their care, that was an eye opener for us as parents to do the best we could by ourselves without third parties in our kids lives until the kids were able to walk and talk. At this point with a 17 month old, a newborn coming soon and 4 and a half year old twins, we’re ready to figure out a better way to watch the kids while we work. Our best bet so far is to have someone watch them in the day time in our house while the twins are in school with cameras installed everywhere of course while checking in frequently.

Alright, so that concludes the questions for this episode. The last thing I’ll say is this. Everyone has an opinion and unfortunately when it comes to pregnancy and baking babies sorry making babies, unsolicited ones will come.. give a fake laugh or something and move along, that’s what I did for my kids. People will tell you, your tummy it’s too big, it’s too small, when will you stop working, when’s your due date? You’re ready to pop, you’re all belly… Trust me, the battle is not even worth it, how many will you fight in a day… you’ll learn that even your well wishers will say some cringeworthy stuff at times that they don’t really mean, or maybe they do… You just patiently wait and enjoy your baby when he/she comes… that’s what I’m looking forward to now regardless of how tired I am of working, regardless of my waddles, regardless of the comments, I’m too tired to give those comments the light of day… and at the end of the day, you’ll be back to your regular self hopefully soon and don’t worry, there’ll still be more comments… ha ha ha them and move on with your life. This mouth was made for talking, that’s just what it’ll do, one of these days, this mouth is gonna talk all about you. The comments and rudeness will not end until judgement day.

 That’s all for now you guys, thank you very much for staying with me till the end. Living in Peace is the main section of my channel so do check out the other sections. You can also follow me on Instagram @Laraddiji and subscribe to my YouTube channel so you don’t miss the many more sizzling topics to come. I’m a lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason as we live our lives. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of that precious time on matters that don’t help us positively in some way. You have a decision to make, if not now, maybe later, the ball of patience is in your court. Ask questions if you have any, don’t hesitate to leave a comment as well. Hoping to read from you awesome people very soon. Like this video by giving it a thumbs up so that I can make more of these videos and also to get notified of newly posted videos, why wait, hover on the hearts to the right lower corner and subscribe, why wait, its free and make sure your notification bell is activated. Check out my suggested videos at the end of this one. Please, let’s love our neighbors as ourselves and remember, to Rest.In.Peace, we all need to be Living.In.Peace, Stay blessed. You’ll see me in my next one. Bye bye.


BMFB ::Bedroom Makeover For Baby::

28 Apr 2019

My people my people, how are you all doing today? It’s DIYT episode for the month of March, yes, for march even though, April is almost over, that’s my schedule people, baby got in the way, so I’m just a little behind. DIYT is the Do It Yourself Today section of my channel and I didn’t want to miss this one for the month of march. For this episode, I wanted to focus on organizing our bedroom in preparation for the addition to our family, guys, nesting is not a joke even for the fourth baby, it just kicks in and you just want to clean everything. As some of you might already know that my family is in a bedroom apartment at this time, it’s a ‘little’ challenging getting everyone’s sleep arrangement set up, ok so I lied, it’s ‘very’ challenging putting 6 people in a room, shoot, 6people, Already? Ok, so, let’s talk.

So this is our room, when you first enter, you see the bed, obviously, it’s a bedroom right? and to the right, my favorite hanger for the kids clothes I got from Amazon years ago and then the drawers for more kids clothes. There’s 9 of them stacked up. Then to the left of the room, those are the cribs for the twins, my wooden chest for more of my clothes and then behind the door, hung towels and extra bags and then my laundry bags,  and my other plastic drawer stacked up, 9 of them again, my best one so far, the first one is a little tough to open. When you’re in a limited space, the magic word is space storage storage storage. It took me a while to get to this place, its usually always clothes everywhere and how can I teach the kids organization, if everything is all over the place? I consider myself an organized person and it’s very irritating and challenging to me when my things or my kids clothes are all over the place which is almost everyday. I hope as you watch this that you’ll pick a thing or two that’ll benefit you in your DIY project.

The main reason I’m doing this video is because of the fact that a lot of things will be changing soon, and I want to remember this moment, I’ve talked about my memory issues before and I sometimes have difficulty remembering some things, I’ve passed out or fainted too many times before and have hit and banged my head on things in the process in my teenage years, and I feel like I don’t remember some things like I would like to, so to remember this moment, a place I’ve lived for a good amount of time, I decided to record me doing this, changing up or rearranging the furniture in my bedroom for the last time hopefully before we move, I do this sometimes to relax, to clean, to rearrange my thoughts and I love it when my kids say wow, mummy, I love our new room, I love where my crib is now. Some people go years and years without switching it up at times in terms of room arrangements, change is good for the brain people, it makes you use dormant parts of it, its like brain exercise.

So here I am, the bed has already been ripped apart and set aside here, I’m just getting the rest of the bed frame away so that the cleaning can begin. The plan is to switch the cribs to the right side of the room while my bed goes to the left side of the room because I think it’ll be better for the kids, and also, it’ll help me out too sometimes when we have visitors and I’m trying to hide, because usually if the kids open the bedroom door, I’ll be busted, don’t even lie, you know you do it too, you know, hide? So, with this new arrangement, if the door opens, only the kids cribs will be seen and also they’ll be able to run in and run out easily especially for school time instead of going in all the way into the room and I feel like if they’re closer to the door, damages will be less and the room will be easier to clean up better. You’ll see what I mean very soon.

Right now, the twins are the ones enjoying the most, they have their individual cribs. I went all out when I ordered them, you know, first kids, twins, I had to, I know better now. I didn’t realize the cribs were gonna be this huge until we finished setting them up. The two cribs take up about 2/5 of the room and our bed take up about 2/5 of the room as well, the remaining 1/5 of the space as you see here is just for walking and storage furniture. My third child however sleeps on our bed and before you figure it all out on your own, I work night shifts, so I barely sleep on the bed half the time anyway, so that kind of worked out. It was when I was researching cribs for this new baby that I realized they actually had mini cribs, wow, mind blown, who knew? because we can’t share our bed again, for safety reasons obviously… it’s ok, I’m not disappointed about the cribs at all, because I know they can still use those cribs up until they’re 18yrs old believe it or not. It just needs to be rearranged in a way to look like a real bed later on when they have their own rooms after we move, God willing.

The other reason I did this video is the fact of transparency… you know, we see a lot of people who succeed and make it in life and we never once see what they go through behind the scenes before they do. You know, when people are soaking garri and struggling just to make ends meet, nobody sees that time, but when things start happening for those same people, then people will start talking, when did this happen? When did that happen? This is my truth and I’m embracing it, people see you and your family on social media and they think you’re big bucks or that you’re balling even when you’re not faking it till you make it, it’s only God’s grace o. I hope you understand what I mean. Some people might pretend that they are all that on social media while they are just like you and I, making it work for themselves and their family as they struggle in the secret. I am just a regular person, praying like you to make it in all that I lay my hands on, you know what I mean? So this is me being transparent with myself and to you guys, I got nothing to hide. This is how countries should be run, transparent, nothing to hide, no hidden agenda.

So anyway, back to the bed for this bambino coming soon. I found this cute space saver of a bassinet. Easy to set up and takes up not too much of the remaining little space we have. I was actually thinking of getting bunk beds for the twins at first to save more space but I think they’re still too young for that and its recommended for at least 8yr olds and up and they’re still half that age and I don’t want to throw furniture away yet as well when we’ll soon be moving, we need to save some money now not be throwing any away at all.

I know people are thinking, four children, where will you put them in a bedroom apartment? But can you believe that I actually love this arrangement? In tough times is when love flows the most and it so happens that I saw this Nigerian movie ONE ROOM, you should definitely check it out, it’s about remembering the humble beginnings of your life and not taking for granted your loved ones when God blesses you more than you can imagine. This bedroom apartment is a stage of our lives and it’s not a permanent one, no situation is ever permanent, this is a very important lesson, because it makes me think of people differently as well, just because someone behaved this way or that way at a particular time, doesn’t mean they’ll be that way forever, which makes it a bit easier to forgive people when they do you wrong. Living in Peace is the main section of my channel and in all you do, please make that your priority so that we can Rest in Peace.

With a little bit of change, this room is looking more like a bedroom. I’ll try to enjoy this little arrangement till we are out of here. What will you rearrange in your house now? Your living room, your game room,  your kitchen, your garage, your pantry, go ahead, you’ll be glad you did, let us know.

Thank you very much for staying with me till the end,  That’s all for now you guys, I’m a lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason as we live our lives. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of that precious time on matters that don’t help us positively in some way. Ask questions if you have any, don’t hesitate to leave a comment as well. Hoping to read from you awesome people very soon. Check out my suggested posts at the end of this one. Don’t forget to subscribe to my youtube channel, and follow me on instagram @laraddiji and on facebook, links are on the right. Please, let’s love our neighbors as ourselves and remember, to Rest.In.Peace, we all need to be Living.In.Peace, Stay blessed. You’ll see me in my next one. Bye bye.

MFYM ::My Fellow YouTube Mentors::

13 Mar 2019

Yay!! Its another Living In Fast Express week with Laraddiji, the section where I talk about what’s going on in life in general or something that has ticked me into putting this together. Today, I wanted to focus on youtubers who inspired me to start my own YouTube channel. I’ll only talk about five of them from the most recent channel I subscribed to and how they’ve inspired me in my journey on YouTube. 

I just subscribed to her channel this year and so far, I’m amazed at how the young people of this generation are thriving with social media, youtube especially as a part time job and as a passive source of income. She’s married to an African man, not sure which country but her name LuchiLoyale. She’s 25yrs old and does mostly Hair videos & lifestyle vlogs. She’s hails from Nigeria, an Ibo Lady and is based in Iowa in this country, she’s also married and just had her first child. She’s a full time ICU nurse and a part time youtuber. I identified with her channel because she was a young pregnant lady at the time when I subscribed, but now, she has a week old son, she’s also a nurse and understands the struggles of work, family life and having a YouTube channel plus, she has natural hair which like me, we’re always looking for ways to make everything work.

The other person I subscribed to is Bibiana Yetty Vlogs, she vlogs mostly about balancing work life and family life. She is from Nigerian and is a Yoruba woman based in United Kingdom. She is married with 3 children who are fraternal twins with a boy sibling. She is a Dentist by day and also a part time youtuber. I identified with her channel because first of all she has fraternal twins like I do who are a year older than mine and she also has a little boy who is a year older than my little guy. She’s a Christian and I love that her family live a Godly life. One of the reasons I started my channel was to promote living a peaceful life and how can that be achieved if you don’t have the peace of God in your life? If you don’t have the love of God as the basis for your life? You know?

This lady I’m about to mention is a business savvy, fashion forward, makeup lover and the recent author of a book called Heart and Hustle.  She has her own makeup lip-stick from MAC, and is based in the United Kingdom and she’s also from Nigeria, I’m not sure if she’s an Ibo or yoruba woman. Actually another youtuber that is on my list that I’m yet to mention refer her as a mentor and I decided to look her up. She studied in the UK and her channel is mostly about makeup but she dabbles in fashion a lot, and she has over 2 million subscribers on her channel. She’s married with a child, and does YouTube full time. I identify with Patricia Bright because I’ve learnt a lot on the topic of being business savvy and how to save money for a business as an entrepreneur.

The next youtuber I’ll mention is that of Sisi Yemmie, she’s a food and lifestyle blogger that was based in the Uk at a time of her life, during her university days, I can’t remember what she studied however, she moved back home to start a family and fell in love with vlogging about living in Nigeria. Her channel is mostly about  Food and Lifestyle. Like I said, like my previous subscriptions, she’s Nigerian and is a Yoruba woman. She is married with two kids now, her daughter was born in the best month of the year, you can guess what month that is, it’s mine as well, February 22. She’s on YouTube fulltime and I love her channel for one reason, her openness and honesty in a nation that is used to the people who keep a lot of information to themselves. One thing I’ve learnt here in the States is that, a lot of people are open about their life and are honest about their problems and thus get help earlier rather than later. There’s a lot in Nigeria that needs change and I’m glad that change is already happening, it seems slow but at least I’m glad its happening.

The first youtuber that lit a youtube light in me was the Ngeeshow which is a channel by Ms. Ngozi. Its mostly a Talk show that resonated with me since I had  a lot of writings that could be turn to a talk show basically. She’s of Ibo decent from Nigeria and she is based in Nigeria as well. She’s a Christian, married and has a child, I’m not sure how many there are or how old. She’s a marker by day I believe and a part  time youtuber. I fell in love with her set and her editing style and how she presents a topic, recently she talked about the issue of #metoo movement in Nigeria and how a lot needs to change in how women are perceived and treated when a negative situation arises especially in the case of sexual harassment and sexual misconduct.

Like I said earlier, its only in education and talking about issues that’s plaguing our societies can we start a change in how situations are handled anywhere in the world. Perspectives need to be changed and new cultures need to be developed so that all these old ways of living will not rule in a generation that has obviously gone through a lot of change through the education of its people and especially with people that have experienced better ways of living. It will make no sense to experience a better way of life with people that know how it is done in well developed countries and then go back home and you only incorporate the negative ways of living from abroad. We need people that will bring home positive ways of living and positive lifestyles to our enriched culture while incorporating our leveles of education to make our individual countries great again.

I’m Laraddiji and my channel is mostly about living a positive and peaceful Lifestyle. I’m Nigerian and I’m based in the United States, I’m married with 3 kids, twins plus their sibling, I’m a nurse and practitioner and a part time youtuber, I’m looking forward to the journey ahead. I incorporated the talk show style of Ngee show, and lifestyle vlogging of the other youtubers I mentioned and so far I’ve been having fun with it all, I’m so glad and I thank you very much for staying with me till this time. Please let us know who means a lot to you that you learn from or study.

That’s all folks, I’m a lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. Ask questions if you have any, don’t hesitate to leave a comment as well. I’m hoping to read from you awesome people very soon. Like this post by giving it a thumbs up. To get notified of newly posted videos, why wait, Subscribe now. Let’s love our neighbors as ourselves. Remember, to Rest.In.Peace, we all need to be Living.In.Peace, Stay blessed.

RS&RW ::RelationShips & Wrecks::

9 Mar 2019

Yay!! It’s march!!! And I’m so excited to be back here, the year is moving right along and I hope you’re ticking those to-do boxes. Welcome to my blog, I‘m Laraddiji. If you’re watching for the first time, you’re most specially welcome. Today, it’s all about Living in Peace, this is the main section of my blog? Feel free to explore the other sections after this, there’s tons of information that might speak to you. Check them out, they’re getting better and juicier if I do say so myself. Now, we can get into today’s topic. It’s a long one, but I promise, you’ll be entertained all through.  I’ll be talking about relationships for this week’s episode. So let me ask you, Are you in a relation-ship or on a relation-wreck as in wreckage, as in floating debris, as in, a doomed relationship, which can still be saved by the way?

Whether you like it or not, we have relationships with everything around us, with our beds, our pillows, with the air we breathe when we first wake up, with the water we take our showers with, with the fire we used to make that hot water to get our first cup of tea or coffee in the morning. We also have relationships with everyone around us, our families, our friends, casual or romantic relationships. We have relationships with the stores we patronize, the schools we attend, the religious places we go, and the financial institutions we frequent and many more. But what exactly is the meaning of a relationship? It is the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected, as defined by google dictionary. Relation however is the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected; a thing’s effect on or relevance to another.

The relationship  we have with inanimate objects depend on our choices alone, for instance, I can choose to sleep on my bed or sleep on a couch, the bed and couch have no choice, it can’t say, get off me. However the relationship we have with people, groups or institutions are dependent on both sides making decisions, a person can choose to love another person while that other person has a choice as well to reciprocate that love or not.  To understand a concept, sometimes you have to break it down into sub groups to make it easier to understand, In Laraddiji’s simple understanding of things, and of the word relationship, I’ve broken it down into relation-ship. I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m comparing a relation-ship to that of a relation-wreck, so here we go.

A ship has a Captain, they are in charge of the operations of sea vessels, such as cruise ships, fishing boats, tugboats, freighters, barges or ferry boats. “When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” said Donald Miller. Who’s driving or steering or whatever you do with a ship to make it move, who’s the captain of a relationship? In a relationship, there’s usually someone who unconsciously takes on this role. In others, it might be s hared but there’s at least someone in charge, otherwise there’ll be a sort of confusion when it’s time to take on a challenging task. *Who’s the boss in this relationship? As a Christian and a believer, Christ is our ultimate Captain or Boss if you will and decisions are made based on the level of the relationship you have with him, you see? That’s another relationship, a spiritual one. In a relationship, you can have a boss, kind of, you know, they make most of the decisions. *Should there be a captain in this relationship? I totally believe there should be a captain especially in a relationship, you might not know right away who it is but as you go along, you’ll realize who’s always better to be in charge, to keep the ship afloat. I always tell my husband that I’ll take care of some things and in other areas, I tell him to take charge. I feel women do a better job at being in charge than men because they’re generally more intuitive while men sometimes take their time in making decisions you know, depending on the situation. *Who makes the decisions in this relationship? Culturally and religiously, men are known to be in charge and therefore they’re supposed to make all decisions for the family but we thank God things are changing, and women can make decisions in the family as well, as long as there’s a collaboration going on, I believe that’s the whole point of marriage anyway or being in a relationship at all. Each individual’s voice should be heard and then a decision can be made, not one-sided at all. *Who checks the captain in this relationship? Whoever is not the captain should check the other and it is to be respectfully done. So that your captain license will not be revoked. There are people in relationships who have abused their captainship either in issues of trust or in issues of loyalty, so if you’re known to be the boss of your relationship, pls take your job seriously.

A ship has lifeboats, it is purposed for use in emergencies and is usually more than one depending on the number of people on board. “You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.” Frederick Buechner said that. In a relationship, a couple might think it’s all about them, but there are actually many people attached to them, in laws especially on both sides, it is American to be about only your immediate family, however, us Africans know the importance of the extended family in a relationship and therefore makes sense to be ready for an emergency at any time. *Who and what are your lifeboats in this relationship? Lifeboats can be physical in nature such as a physical person that can help you in the time of trouble. Lifeboats can also be spiritual or financial in nature. Spiritual in the sense that, when our relationship is in trouble, we can call on God to help us… not friends, not parents and definitely not co-workers. Financially in the sense that, hopefully you have a savings account for emergencies. In a disaster while on a ship, the people can get into a lifeboat for safety, the same goes in a relationship, financially, a lifeboat or two should be made available, remember its not all about you guys. You as an individual couple might be a lifeboat for someone else. So it’s a smart idea be ready for emergencies.  *Do you have any lifeboats in this relationship? The answer to this is either yes or no, if you do, very good, if not, it’s a good idea to start mending friendships and fixing broken bridges.  *When doodoo hits the fan, who do you fall back on? Siblings can fall back on each other, couples can fall back on each other, families can fall back on each, depending on the type of relationship you have with the other party, that might determine how much of a lifeboat size they’ll be to you. *Who are your advisers/advisors? This falls under maybe social lifeboats, people that you are not related to that can have a say in your relationships, some have friends, some have professional assistance, psychologists, psychiatrist, counsellors, pastors and so on: these people can and do advice or guide peoples’ thinking into hopefully making right choices in the situations of life. *Savings, do you have any in this relationship? This falls under finances,  having a financial lifeboat… money they say is the root of all evil but it can also solve a lot of problems. Especially in a relationship, financial management can be a huge topic that can wreck a relationship. So to avoid a wreck, it is wise to have like an account for emergencies, so when you see your ship ready to hit an iceberg, you have lifeboats of money to take you to safety.

A ship can be directed, that round steering wheel is not for fun. If a ship wants to go from point A to B, it will need to be steered. “No road is long with good company.” Turkish Proverb. What’s steering your relationship, is it money? is it love? is it kids? Let’s dive into this one. *Do you have a goal, or goals in your relationship? If you want to travel for the first year or two of your relationship, that’s a goal, and you’ll be steering your relationship in that direction. If it is completing your education in whatever capacity you’re at, then that’s steering your relationship in that direction, if it is having children, that’s also steering. *Are those goals short or long term in your relationship? This goal trips you’re taking or embarking on, are they short trips or long trips, think about it, if they’re short, you’ll get to your destination sooner and the risks will be lower and you might be able to accomplish them, however, there might be storms in the way of achieving longer trips, as in long term goals, so always be prepared individually and as a couple on what your goals are and how you want to accomplish them.  *Are these goals to be achieved individually or as a couple or as a whole family?   Let’s take for instance, I have an independent short term goal of saving $100 a month for my personal use. As a couple, we can have a long term goal of saving $1000 for the year and as a whole family, mine and that of my husbands, we could be planning a big cruise trip that’ll cost some more money, does that make sense? *How do you move forward in a relationship? I don’t think ships can reverse and if so, I learnt they only do so in emergencies. So, in a relationship and in life in general, the goal is to always move forward. Reversing should only be last last resort. *It takes time to get to the destination of trust.  To attain anything good in life, it all takes time, nothing happens by magic, the same goes in relationships, to get to the destination of trusting a relationship, there will be storms, there will be strong winds, there will be disagreements, there will be arguments guaranteed but at the end of the day, it’ll strengthen the trust bond that you both will share. So pls, in whatever relationship you’re in, in times of arguments, disagreements, and even distrust, just know that this will deepen and strengthen the love you have for each other, if only you can endure.

A ship has an engine or sometimes multiple engines for different purposes, to basically create motion by turning the ship’s propellers through the water.

“We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics.” Joyce Meyer said that one. When compared to a ship, a relation-ship needs an engine as well, a motivator, a source of energy that keeps it going and growing. Communication is a big part of a relationship and I want to consider it as the major source of energy for a relationship to survive just like diesel or fuel to a ship. *What keeps you guys going and moving in your relationship? Lack of conflict might keep some people together or even comfortability. If it aint broke, don’t fix it. *Is it your genuine love for each other? For some, the genuine love for each other is what keeps the relationship going, regardless of what’s happening in it. They might be broke, they might not have children, they might be all about their career but their true love for each other keeps them going. I wish I had an example of a couple like that, there’s some in Hollywood and they would’ve been together for years, if you know one, pls comment. *Are the kids the engine in the relationship? For some, they are, because they believe that the kids are the priority of that relationship even if it is broken or not. *Is money the engine in this  relationship? For some, money is the engine that keeps their relationship going. This is very rampant in what you see in Hollywood, hello (prenups)but it happens in regular peoples lives as well, just not on a larger scale. *Is the relationship feeding off of the physical aspects of its partners? For some it is and I’ll just leave that there. Well, some women like the physicals of their partners and therefore if he’s looking good, they’ll stay, but if he’s loosing his hair or loosing his muscles, they might not stay in that relationship. Same goes for women, this is partly why some men cheat, if the woman is not looking as thin or as  cute or as put together as she once was, they start loosing interest forgetting that, the bimbo outside the relationship will eventually age too. In a ship where the physical aspects of your partner is the engine, do you think that relationship will last? Time, age and gravity will always wins, unless you get Botox and all these chemicals put into your system but in the end, even that cant win.

A ship is purposeful, it is either used to get people, materials or containers from a piece of land to another and it can also be a vessel for fun as in cruise ships. A relationship between two people can be purposeful as well, it can either be to lead to a marriage or a partnership. Today, I’ll only focus on the one that ends in a marriage. *Why did you even start this relationship in the first place? There are many purposes why any man would want to engage a woman in a relationship, to grow, to learn, to heal, for companionship, for love, and for some to have kids to keep the family name going. *Is your partner’s outward appearance a reason to start a relationship? For some, that might be the reason. I’ve said it before as the engine, so, if outward appearance is the main purpose of a relationship, then, that might be hard to maintain in the long run. However, some people make it work, take for instance personal trainers, as a couple, they might decide to own a gym to train their customers, however, they have to be invested in taking care of their outward appearances. *Is your relationship for financial gain? Especially when there’s a lot of money involved, like if the partner came into money through his/her dead parents, trust fund monies and others, some relationships have been started for financial gain, now, you can guess what will happen when that s money runs out. *Is your relationship solely for your Security in life? Ok, let’s tackle this one. Security in the sense that you won’t have to worry too much about the necessities of life? I remember growing up, they’ll tell you, marry a lawyer, doctor of engineer so that you won’t suffer. But who says specializing in other areas cannot secure you financially? So of course like that lagbaja song goes, baby tani Ko fewa, sugomu, imu lo yi siwa, Elejowewe,  Alabere, Alajo somolu, Tabon tabon, Security In a relationship should not only be based on how much money is available but in potentials, aspirations, dreams and ultimately love, truly, the journey might not be a rosy one, however you will have plenty of stories to tell. Security sometimes come in after facing adversities together. *is your relationship for growth, physically, spiritually, socially, academically, intellectually, and all other allies? It should be. What’s the point of being in a relationship if you’re both not benefitting something positive? What’s the point of being in a relationship if only one of you is ‘allowed’ to grow, or heal, or succeed? A successful relationship understands that the partners involved are in a partnership and not in any form of slavery. Let’s take a simple look at this scenario: A small shop, can only one person handle the register, the stocking of the shop, the cleanliness of the shop, the ordering of the supplies, bathroom cleaning, the opening and locking up of the store? Of course not, the  owner would hire one or two more people to do certain tasks to keep the business moving. The same goes in a relationship, leading to a marriage, some men might be looking at a potential mate if they are team players or lone rangers and vice versa. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” Oprah Winfrey said that.

A ship has an anchor which is a heavy metal device attached to a ship or boat by a cable and it is usually  thrown overboard to hold the vessel in a particular place during storms or heavy winds by digging into the bottom of the ocean.  In a relationship, what can an anchor mean, and why would we ever want to place a relationship in a particular place? An anchor can actually have positive and negative meanings in a relationship. In the negative light, an anchor could be third parties to your relationship, who actually do not want your relationship to thrive and they might give you advice that can hurt or damage your relationship without you even realizing it. They could be your friends, your co-workers, some could even be your family members, trust me,  choose them wisely or listen to them wisely, or not at all, just do you. In the positive light, in a relationship, if you’re going through a rough patch, your anchor should be people who are rooting for your relationship to work not those who are ready to help you tear it down. These could be the elderly in your family who can give you relationship advice or trusted clergy if that’s who you know. In a Christian relationship, our anchor is Jesus, when an impeding storm is about to hit our relationship, and we sincerely ask God to take control, he definitely will so that that relationship will not hit the rocks and be disintegrated. “You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” Epicurus said it. You get?

Now that we know what a relationship entails a little bit better with the analogy of a ship, let’s see if you’re in a relationship or a relation-wreck. What does a ship have that a wreckage doesn’t? First of all, a wreckage is the remains of something that has been badly damaged or destroyed. Will a relation-wreckage need a captain? It won’t, it is not based on any good or solid foundation, most likely blind in nature, so the parties do whatever they like. Will a relation-wreckage have lifeboats? There’s not enough room on a wreckage for its partners, talk less of having a lifeboat. The parties are so into themselves that there’s not enough room to think about emergencies. Will a relation-wreckage stand the test of time in times of trouble, in high winds or in storms? A wreckage usually drifts on water and therefore is in the mercy of the direction of the water. In a relations-wreckage, you’re at the mercy of whatever is going on in your life at that moment. Will a relation-wreckage not have any emergencies? A wreckage usually is a result of an emergency, and at that time, all you’ll need to find is another ship to save you or for you to be fish-food. The same goes for a relation-wreckage, this partnership is usually as a result of a broken relationship because as we have said, it is a result of a ship-wreck. A relation-wreckage does not have an engine, there’s nothing that’s moving them forward except the lusts of life, which includes that of the eyes, flesh and that pf the pride of life. There’s no love involved in this kind of relationship, no kids, and no money even. A relation-wreckage has no true purpose. It is the result of an emergency, a ship wreck, so this partnership is usually useless, it has no long term benefits for both involved, so why even get involved? A wreckage has no anchor, well think about it, this little speck on the water has no captain, no lifeboat, no direction, no engine, no purpose, why should it have an anchor? You know?

Do you get where I’m going with this yet? If you haven’t guessed what type of relationship I am talking about yet, well, it’s a cheating relationship, it’s an affair, it’s a relationship with no strings attached and others you can think of. Are you in a relationship, a partnership, a purposeful relationship or are you in a relation-wreck? In the name of, which is the main umbrella of my channel, you see why a relationship is meant to be lived in peace, partners should be collaborating in moving their ships forward, while relying on God as their anchor in times of storms and struggles because they will come. If you’re currently in a relation-wreck, and you have no captain, no lifeboats, no direction, no engine, no anchor, my girl, my guy, you better get off and swim to safety. Take care of yourself first and board another ship when and only when you’re sure  and ready to be someone else’s partner.

Thank you very much for staying with me till the end, I hope you’ve learnt something new today. That’s all for now you guys, I’m a lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings.  Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason as we live our lives. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of our precious time on matters that don’t help us positively in some way. Ask questions if you have any, don’t hesitate to leave a comment as well. Hoping to read from you awesome people very soon. Like this video by giving it a thumbs up. To get notified of new posts Subscribe now. Check out my suggested entries at the end of this one. Please, let’s love your neighbors as ourselves. Remember, to Rest.In.Peace, we all need to be Living.In.Peace, Stay blessed.

WBII? ::Whose Birthday Is It?::

3 Mar 2019

Welcome. It’s Laraddiji, this monthly Review of February was about the regular happenings of the month in my immediate family and in my immediate extended family. In this month, I am now a year older in my thirties. Every day brings new adventures. I’m getting more and more tired as you can see in the video, I still have some time to go before we meet this little person whom God will be gifting us with a different personality. I didn’t get to put this in the video, however, with the year still new in my mind, I have some things I’ve put down as goals for this new year and my new age.

What I shouldn’t be doing in 2019 includes

a) Procrastinating

b) Not saving money

c) Wasting time

d) Eating junk food

e) Keeping malice

What I will be doing this year will include

a) Being consistent with my content

b) Saving money

c) Being on time

d) Eating healthy

e) Exercising regularly and listening more. 

That’s all, for now, I’m a  lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason as we live our lives. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of our precious time on matters that don’t help us positively in some way. Thank you very much for staying with me, and also subscribe to get notified of new posts, why wait, its free, don’t forget to love your neighbors as yourself and at the end of the day, let us remember that for us to RestInPeace, we all need to be LivingInPeace, Stay blessed. 

ITMW ::In The Macrame World::

1 Mar 2019

Supplies I had to buy

Macrame Cord $8 per roll, I bought 3

Dowel – wooden bar <$2

Peacock flower – >$3

Knots to learn

Square knots

Half hitch knots

Check out the video above on I achieved this wall hanging.

W&WWW ::Why & What We Wear::

20 Feb 2019

Hello you guys and welcome to my blog, it’s S.O.F.T week, School of Fraternal Twins, where I talk about the twins, you know, they’re a huge part of my life and I don’t think I can have a channel and not talk about them. They’re 4 yrs old now and trust me when they say time flies, it really does, by the end of this year, they’ll be 5yrs old. This section of my channel will benefit you if you’re starting out with having kids, or if you take care of kids or would love to have kids or if you’re just browsing and learning. This is me sharing my experience with raising kids so far in regards to what they wear. I’m so very grateful for the little experience I had when I was younger in taking care of my nephews and nieces back home in Nigeria when they were very young, they probably don’t know what I did back then when they were younger but that really helped me when I started having my own kids. Ok, let’s leave the flashback stories in the past. Today, it’s all about fashion,

Where do I shop for the kids, if I ever? 

I can’t remember the last time I shopped for the kids or for myself. It’s just been so busy around here, sometimes I’ll go to Kohl’s and I’ll rarely buy anything there but mostly Burlington. My husband usually does the shopping because I just don’t have the patience, Target is my favorite for kids though. We’ve been so lucky actually from the time the kids were born up till now, we still get clothes as gifts and sometimes we end up buying some little things here and there to supplement what they were gifted. I personally shop at Target mostly, sometimes Kohl’s and most of the time my husband and I will shop at Burlington. My husband usually does the shopping because I just don’t have the patience, Target is my favorite for the kids though, they have cool outfits for outings. My parents shop for the kids as well, my dads favorite is the Gap, he’ll buy them lots of socks which we appreciate and sweaters, we love Gap sweaters because grandpa loves buying them for them, they’re thick, and hold up very well during winter. I’m a fan of wearing the love out of the clothes before taking out new ones whereas my husband is the opposite, he says you buy it you wear it now before it becomes too small. I remember my mom actually bought a medium size suitcase worth of clothes from different stores during their discounted sales over time before the twins were born and I was so surprised at her dedication. I had clothes from 0months to 2yrs before they were born. The stores ranged from children’s place, tjmaxx, Kohl’s, and many more. We knew we didn’t have to buy too many clothes because we used Manis clothes for Destin’s, we only bought new outing clothes as needed.

What my kids wear…

I’ll love to focus on some brands that have done me well over the years, if you ever want to buy clothes for kids for Christmas, birthdays, just because, and others, stay with these brands that I’ll mention.  First of all, a big thank you to everyone that has ever bought clothes for my bambinos ever since they were babies, we thank you for the varieties we’ve gotten over the years.  I will tell you honestly that I rarely buy clothes for the kids, only on special occasions or if I know, they’ve really outgrown a lot of their clothes. You don’t want to be wasting money because they grow so fast. I’m going to mention them now in their order of importance to my wallet, wearability, and shrinkability. The Gap comes in first which I don’t ever buy, this is grandpas’ specialty, we get mainly sweaters pants and socks from Gap and they last like crazy, then comes Carter’s, OshKosh, Cat and Jack which is my to go for fashion, especially carters. and then there’s Gerber. One thing I noticed with Gerbers clothes is that they’re thinner and therefore after washing, can either shrink or get bigger in size, I’m definitely not a fan.

Where I store them…

I’m focusing on how I store the clothes in our one bedroom apartment for now, and if you’re in my shoes or in my situation, these products will help you. From Amazon, I got this chrome hanger setup to hang clothes, it has two levels and I try to hang the twins’ clothes on each level, but now with an extra kid, I just hang up the important clothes, sweaters, jackets, dresses, suits, and heavy clothes. The rest literally gets folded or shoved in my drawers, one of which is a steal, my basketweave heavy plastic drawer from Amazon, it comes in three drawer sets and I pinched my wallet and bought 3sets of 3, but I wish I had bought more sooner, because now they’re a little bit pricier and there’s not enough in store or in production. I love these drawers, they are very durable and it looks like they’ll last a long time. I’ll put their link in the box below. They have these tires on the bottom so they slide in and out easily. I don’t regret spending almost 50$ per set. The quality of the other type of drawer I got is not even close to the first one.

How we wash them…

I’m focusing on how I separate dirty clothes and the detergents we use and the loads we do. First of all, I’m a one and done type of person, Once I’ve worn my clothes, I don’t care if there’s a stain on it or not, it goes in the dirty pile. The same goes for the kids, once they’ve worn their clothes, they know to put it in the dirt pile, which usually is designated laundry bag of color that we have chosen, yellow bag. We try to do our laundry every two weeks. I think I’ll have to upgrade to every week once we have our own washer and dryer when we finally move into a bigger place. I don’t think we have a special kind of wash routine, we use Tide and Gain sometimes and Kirkland detergent at times with Tide or Gain,  and I remember when they were babies, we used Dreft liquid soap. It’s especially for newborns to prevent irritations on babies skin.

Do you donate the clothes after they’ve outgrown them?

The clothes we have so far have been recycled for sibling use, the shoes we didn’t need anymore were donated to the church and the girl clothes were donated to the boxes made available for clothing donations.

Please let me know in the comment section below how you effectively organize your kids’ clothes, I feel like I’ll get lost and drown in them if I don’t get my game up.

That’s all, for now, you guys, I’m a  lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason as we live our lives. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of our precious time on matters that don’t help us positively in some way. Thank you very much for staying with me, you can like this post by giving it a thumbs up so that I can make more SOFT videos and also subscribe to get notified of newly posted videos, why wait, its free, don’t forget to love your neighbors as yourself and at the end of the day, let us remember that for us to RestInPeace, we all need to be LivingInPeace, Stay blessed. 

E.PWS ::Etiquette. Passengers, Walking & Shopping::

16 Feb 2019

Story story, you’ll say story. Once upon a time, you’ll say “time time” Welcome to my channel once again, its Laraddiji always and forever. Its not really a story today however, its Freestyle week, and I wanted to talk about the part 2 of a video I did last year where I talked about some etiquette issues, including road rage, parking lot and discipline. I’ll link that video below in the description box below and also at the end of this one. I decided to do this one because, we’re loosing simple etiquette rukes and regulations and because I’m the public official and the self appointed peoples voice on these topics, here we go…

A. should you be too relaxed as a passenger while someone else is driving you?

Who should be tired, the driver or the passenger? I’ve had a lot of experience driving for fun and also during my mini adventures and on those  adventures I’ve learnt what to do and not do as a driver and what’s expected as a passenger because I’ve been both in many different situations.

  1. should you be sleeping when someone else is driving?

I drove a lot when I was in college when I had a toyota foreunner. My dad gave me that truck when the small car I was managing stopped working out of the blue. I drove the car to school, work and to church but I also took it on mini adventures and I remember that on those adventures, most times I would have company, within the state or out of state. On the way home, I’d be the only one still up driving in the middle of the night, no one to talk to, just a truck or sometimes with a bus filled with sleeping people. I was thinking of having a witness God forbid if anything happens but if everybody is sleeping, no one will know what happened.

2. should you be eating when someone who is driving is hungry as well? 

as a driver, you know you can’t be multitasking at the wheel, eating is one of them, so out of respect for the driver, whoever it is, I won’t eat unless we eat together, even if as a passenger I’m eating while someone is driving, I’ll feel uncomfortable knowing the other person is equally as hungry as I am, I’ll just wait or maybe stop the car at a gas station and we can all eat together.

3. should you be complaining

driving for more than 35mins is a drive, so, if there are more people in the car, adults I mean, not kids, because you know they’ll complain from the beginning to the end of the ride. Usually when I’m the one driving for more than an hr, I don’t want to hear any complaints, you’re not the one driving because driving is tiresome, and when you have complaining passengers, it makes it worse. So cheer up whenever someone is driving you and make it engaging enough for the driver to be happy to do the job but not to the point of distracting the driver, you know what I mean?

B. should you be disciplined in the way you walk in public? 

Unfortunately, America is growing backwards and we need to be talking about this, I’m ashamed at how people walk in public. There is an art to how you present yourself in public, the way we walk, the way we talk, the way our extremities move around our body and the way we comport ourselves puts an image of how people will see us as a whole. Coming from Nigeria, we were taught to dress smart and be sharp. Our movements should also match that. 

  1. Pick up your feet when you’re walking, stop dragging your feet. 

We were taught this when we were back home in Nigeria, you see, dragging your feet is likened to a lazy person, a tired person or even a jobless person.  If you’re working as a professional, take for instance, a police officer, a security officer, a nurse, a firefighter, a waiter, would you be dragging your feet, these are jobs where you need to be on their feet for an amount of time and if you are seen walking as a zombie, dragging your feet, that will not speak well of you.

2. Picture where you’re going and don’t stop till you get there 

Lets repeat that, if you think about where you’re going, before you even get out of the house, then you’ll save your  time, energy, money and your gas. Even in life in general, its good to have goals about where you want to go, where you want to be in a yr or 5 or 10 years, and when you have these goals figured out, you can map out how you want to get there. Take for instance, I want to have my bachelor degree in 4yrs, then your map would be, what major would you study, what classes do I need to take, what books do I need to buy, how will I pay for this education and so on. But without a plan, wouldn’t that be wasting your energy, your resources and ultimately your precious time which you cant get back.

3. The passageway is always wide enough.

One thing that irritates me the most, stopping in the middle of the passage or hallway to talk to your friend, its very hrude to the people behind you, park yourself to the side, just like when you’re driving, its rude to stop in the middle of the road and be talking to people while having no regard for the people coming behind you, it will be very respectful to park your car first to the side. Your invincible antenna should be picking up signals and energy from the people around you, please, let’s be proactive in the way we live our lives.

C. should you be talking on the phone at the shopping counter?

I remember when the phones were coming out, I was just starting out in college and was getting used to living here in the States, working, and balancing home life as well. When shopping back then, there were no distractions, even if there was any, it was minimal. But now, phones are everywhere, its in our  children’s hands, in adults hands, in our pockets, we are always on it but when we go out shopping, one thing we should refrain from is having the phone out when we are ordering or paying for goods, its very distracting and off-putting.

  1. phones, or headsets and ear pods

When you’re at the counter, with your earphones on, the message it conveys to everyone around you is that you’re listening to music or someone else or maybe you want to ignore talking to anybody, do you see how confusing this would seem when you’re ready to order something at the counter or even pay for your goods? Its frustrating. If I were on the opposite side of the counter and I put myself in the cashier’s shoes, I’d be very upset, I’d be very irritated that you’re not focused and ready to be done with your shopping.

2. wasting time at the counter

Now, are you the type of person that looks for their wallet at the counter or you’re the type that gets your card or money ready so as not to waste anybody’s time including your own? I’m the type of person that tries to think 2-3 steps ahead depending on the situation and I come up with different scenarios that could happen, some will say this is nuts but this is what I do sometimes. So I make sure I have my wallet and my cards or cash ready before I get to the counter to pay. One of my fears is that I’ll put some things in my cart and I’ll get to the counter and not have my wallet or money to pay, I would’ve wasted my precious time and that of others, so I make sure I don’t waste people’s time by being that person on the line.

If you’ve noticed that I talk about time a lot, you’ll realize that a peaceful living has a time component attached to it. It requires that you take action immediately in certain situations without wasting time. Our time is limited here on earth and  every minute that goes by cannot be brought or bought back. How will you spend your time?

How have you wasted your time before and how did you fix the issue, would love to hear from you my awesome listeners.

That’s all for now you guys, I’m a  lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason as we live our lives. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of our precious time on matters that don’t help us positively in some way.  You have a decision to make when  these matters concern you, if not now, maybe later, the etiquette ball is in your court. Thank you very much for spending your time with me, you can like this video by giving it a thumbs up so that I can make more FSTL   videos and also subscribe subscribe to get notified of newly posted videos, why wait, its free, just click the red button, don’t forget to love your neighbors as yourself and at the end of the day, let us remember that for us to RestInPeace, we all need to be LivingInPeace, Stay blessed. 

OOTH!!! ::Out Of Their Heads!!!::

9 Feb 2019

I’m so excited, it’s another LIFE week with Laraddiji, my Living in Fast Express section where I talk about what’s going on in life in general or something that has ticked me into putting this together. From the moment we wake up, till its time to go bed, there’s so much going on in our minds, not in any particular order, family, bills, spouse, children, job, parents, relatives, friends, co-workers, bosses, trusting God more, what to eat, driving, where to go, health, appointments and so on and so forth that it’ll be very irresponsible of us to start going into other peoples minds and heads to try to figure out what they’re thinking about us. Let’s take for instance, you went to work and a coworker is looking at you before he or she made a turn for their office and then you started thinking, he or she doesn’t like you, he or she looked at me this way or that way so therefore they must not like the way I talk or maybe the way I walk or maybe they don’t even like my face or even maybe the way I do my job. I’ve thought about this before believe me and those thoughts are in our minds everyday, subconsciously messing our minds up.

As I was preparing this topic I was watching a movie of a lady that was raped while she was on her school campus and she had reported the incident to the authorities and a case was drawn out however, she lost the case because the main guy, the culprit had parents who had loads of money. Anywhere she went on her school campus, she felt that everyone was talking about her, anytime she saw people laughing, she would think they were laughing about her, at the end of the day, she killed herself. This was a movie however, we can all learn from this. My thing is, we might have had a situation that we might not be able to tell anybody or everybody about and we might feel if anybody knows, we wouldn’t be able to handle the situation, however if anybody really should know,  keep your head held high, and have a “who cares?” attitude and keep your head above the water, don’t let the world drown you out. Imagine if she had done the opposite and kept her head held high, she might have found her purpose, or  even found the strength to see to it that her rapists went to jail which they eventually did in the movie.

There are two groups of people,  the people who will tell you, “there’s nothing new under the sun” meaning, somewhere somehow, whatever situation you’re going through, someone else has gone through it before and have survived, so you should be brave in that circumstance you’re going through and then you have this other group, “What will people say?” Chai, this group scares me, they give me goosebumps. If I have bad teeth, “people” will talk, she need to get it fixed, they’ll say, if I have shine shine teeth, the ‘people will talk, they’ll say, hmmm, Colgate spokesman, is it only her teeth. Guess what, I have been the ‘people’ before too, I won’t lie, you have definitely been the ‘people’ before as well. The “people” have been here before us and they will surely be here after us, they will talk, that’s what people do, so because people talk, I will not do what I am destined to do? So because people will talk, I will not live my life? I will not raise my flag high and wave it for the world to see? Its so unfortunate the state our nation is right now, both at home and abroad, but despite all we see and hear about, do not let those distract us from the important missions of our lives.

When you are down today, their mouth has to move and it’s the same mouth that will move when you are rising up, so my dear, enjoy your down-time because the only way to go from there will be uptown, you feel me?

Don’t always think of yourself as a victim, think of yourself as a victor.

Change your mind, yes, use your mind against itself, look in the mirror and tell yourself to move. That’s what separates people that make it from those that don’t.

Don’t think of yourself as being a failure, think of yourself being a success

The thought will definitely come, that you’re not enough, that you’re not doing enough, but you have the power to change it to what you want, don’t be feeling sorry for yourself, the more you’re doing that, the more you’re digging a pot hole for your destined vehicle to fall into.

Don’t make assumptions about others, their feelings, their thoughts, their reactions, its not yours, its theirs

Now unless someone tells you face to face, you’re disgusting, why would you ever think so, unless someone says you talk too much, why would you ever think you talk too much? God made you the way you are, don’t downplay yourself, don’t stress yourself  into becoming another person you’re not meant to be because the easiest person you can be is yourself, the moment you give more power to what others say about you, it becomes stressful on you.

Don’t let your past experiences imprison you and prevent you from living your life

You’ll only be wasting time, before you know it, you’ll be 60yrs old and 75 will be knocking on the door and you did nothing with your time. Get up and do it now, even if you fail, do it again, you will only learn, and not die of failure or have you ever heard of someone who died from failing?

Don’t always think of the negative side of situations, think of the positive sides.

There are people that do this on daily basis and it slowly eats them up and what they could be doing positively in their lives and in the lives of others. It takes time to understand the fact that we are on this earth not for our sole enjoyment but for the benefit of others, if we just existing for ourselves, what a boring life that will be.

Don’t think you can make anyone think good of you, do good yourself and move on with your life.

I feel like some people do good things for the benefit of others for what they will gain from them, be it for the thanks or for some other gratifying reasons that only they will understand but when we do something good for our fellow, brothers and sisters, do it with a clean heart, with a clear mind, these deeds are rewarded beyond our imaginations by our maker, and the reward shouldn’t even be the motivation for you doing something good or something nice for someone, if you’re capable, don’t think twice.

I hope this speaks to somebody today, and I hope that if you know someone going through something bigger than themselves, that you’ll be part of the group that will give a lending hand and show them the way, not the ones that will say, “what will people say?” I won’t preach, but I hope you know what I mean.

A quote says, “put out the fire on you before you put out the fire on others and another says, “Don’t burn yourself to keep others warm.” however with all that I have said, I will end this section with my own thoughts, “Don’t burn yourself, and your ideas, and your dreams,  your potentials, your financials,  your opportunities,  your imagination  and absolutely don’t burn your bridges thinking for other people.” Be confident in yourself, and I say this to myself as well, I struggled with self esteem issues when I was a bit younger and I’m still working on my voice, and I’m so surprised at what I know but sometimes it doesn’t show because in certain situations, I’m just thinking too much about life, so at times, I remind myself to stop thinking too much and just live life.

That’s all for now you guys, I’m a  lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason as we live our lives. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of our precious time on matters that don’t help us positively in some way.  You have a decision to make about that situation you are still battling alone, if not now, maybe later, the confidence ball is in your court, you can either let it rule your life or you can take charge and rule it out of your life. Thank you very much for staying with me, you can like this post by giving it a thumbs up so that I can make more LIFE posts and also subscribe subscribe to get notified of new posts, why wait, its free, don’t forget to love your neighbors as yourself and at the end of the day, let us remember that for us to RestInPeace, we all need to be LivingInPeace, Stay blessed.